When I moved to Victoria, I felt right at home. The people, food and culture were a perfect match to me; I felt like I had found my place. But lately, I have also felt the need for the outdoors and I crave a quite lifestyle; the lifestyle I grew up with.

Growing up in a small neighbourhood outside of town, I spent a lot of time outside by myself. I lived in a beautiful valley and had easy access to mountains and rivers. I would often spend my days hiking around or sitting by the Columbia or Kootenay river; I could easily spend the whole day not seeing another soul.

Now that I am older, I miss that solitude and connection to nature but I have also grown accustomed to all the great things the city has to offer, such as good healthy food, like minded people, etc… I have been struggling with this for a while, wanting the tranquil quite life with all the best things the city has to offer.

It wasn’t until my husband and I  took the ferry over to Quadra Island for the first time last fall that I felt I had found my new home. I actually had this knowing or feeling as we were about to disembark from the ferry that we (my husband and I) were going to live there one day, I even said it out loud to him; this was even before we had set foot on the island.

Quadra Island absolutely ticks all my boxes. There is so much wilderness to discover, the solitude, amazing and laid back people, the good food, the wildlife, etc… Every time I go there, I can feel myself really relax and settle in more and more. I also love that Campbell River has a great health food store, Countrenay has my favourite tea shop and Victoria is only a four hour (and beautiful) drive away.

The last time I was there, I could barely drive home because I was so relaxed! And I have been unemployed for 7 months!

I know that one day we will move there and it is going to amazing. How it unfolds, that is for the universe to figure out and I can’t wait for it to manifest!

Do you have a place in mind that you hope to move to some day?

Fun with friends doesn’t always require money…

1) Are you planning to travel this summer?

If you are planning on travelling, you can expect to be spending some good money on that. If it is important for you to get away for a bit, then make sure you keep that as a priority in your mind, while deciding whether to accept that invite to go out for your 15th dinner with friends that will tug the purse strings. Yes, I’m sure you’ll have a great time having dinner with your girls, but if that means that you might have to sacrifice part of your major summer plan, is it really worth it?

2) Love music?? Don’t stretch yourself thin!

Summer concerts and festivals are tons of fun! The opportunity to see one of your favorite bands or singers, while outside in the beautiful weather is amazing. But the problem occurs when you see the price for that ticket. While splurging $300+ for a festival ticket, where you’ll see several bands you love, it does get expensive if you plan on going to multiple events or if you don’t budget accordingly. Make sure you plot out where that money is coming from far enough in advance. This way you get to relax and enjoy the music, rather than stressing about how you’re going to pay rent at the end of the month because you just spent a portion to attend the festival.

3) Learn to say ‘no’!

No one wants to be the person that passes on an event, but just as Alana mentioned about surviving being broke, you can’t spend money you don’t have. If you learn to say ‘no’ to some events, then your friends will really appreciate those times that you are able to make it out, knowing how much you want to be there and spending time with them. It might not be fun to be the one declining on events, but I can assure you it’s even less fun sitting at home eating raman noodles and avoiding creditor calls because you had too much fun the previous few months.

Summer is all about getting out and spending time with your friends and family. That doesn’t mean that you need to spend a ton of money. Check out some of our past posts for some great ideas to spending time with your friends without draining the bank account! What is your favorite spend-free summer activity?

But, if you are like me and you can’t eat wheat (or very little of it), you are probably disappointed by the quality and taste of gluten-free and wheat-free pizza in this city.

So, I have a wheat-free and yummy solution for you!

It’s spelt pizza!

How do I make spelt pizza you may ask? Well, I will tell you.

First off, I don’t actually make the pizza dough from scratch, but I do buy fresh spelt pizza dough from Wildfire Bakery in Victoria. The pizza dough is actually the bread dough for the next morning’s baking. You can get the dough any time after 1pm and you can even choose what kind, such as sifted or whole spelt dough (sifted is…well, sifted and is lighter and the whole spelt is heavier). We always get the sifted dough because it has a nice light texture.

The first thing to do is leave the dough on the counter at room temperature for about half an hour.

Flour the pizza pan and a cutting board (we use spelt flour for this).

Press the dough to get out any air bubbles.

Slap the dough between your hands (like you see in the movies).

Place it on the pizza pan then start stretching it out to the sides.

This is what it should look like before the toppings.

Here are some of my favourite toppings: red pepper, olives, fresh basil, zucchini, onions in balsamic vinegar (found in the deli by the olives at Thrifty Foods) and cherry tomatoes. Sometimes I like to add roasted garlic and  roasted egg plant.

Here is the pizza ready to go in the oven. We sprinkle goat cheddar on top to keep the lactose down.

We cook the pizza at 400 degrees for about 20 minutes. Here is what it looks like done.

We like to sprinkle pecorino cheese and chili flakes on top.

Enjoy!

This particular do-over presented itself on a beautiful afternoon.  I had decided to strap my 2.5 month old son into his baby carrier and go out for a walk to the mall.  I went into a department store, selected a new toy for the baby, and went to the cashier to pay. I waited paitently in line, and shortly thereafter a second register opened up and offered to help the next person.  One line up formed, feeding into the two checkouts.

A group of women came up the escalators and stood behind the woman currently being helped at the first register.  There was still one customer in front of me in line; the situation was foreshadowed, I knew what was going to happen and I was secretly hoping the woman waiting in front of me would have to deal with it.  As the universe would have it, she was called to the other till.  Let me recap: there was now the “real” line, the one that I had been patiently wating in, and the “other make-believe” line, formed by these other woman.  The moment came when the cashier asked to help the next person, and the gaggle of women went to take a step forward.  So did I.  I made eye contact with each of the women, politely said that the line started behind me and that I had been waiting.  One of the woman aggressively leaned into me, said that they had been there all along and that that it was “actually [their] turn”.  I summoned my inner Ghandi and put my hands up in a non-confrontational way and said “fine”, twice.  The cashier then said that I shouldn’t worry, that I would be served at the other register as soon as she was done.  Thanks Tips.

First let me say that this situation happens to me A LOT and that I never say anything.  I usually just let the person butt in line, telling myself that I’m choosing the high road and coming up with some excuse for them like that they must be in much more of a hurry than I am.

Surpisingly, I felt humiliated.  I was very aware that I had a baby strapped to my front and I was taken aback with the customer’s agressiveness and rudeness.  In the moment I was acutely aware of my son and of wanting to be a good role model (even though he was asleep and had no idea what was going on). I wanted to show him how to politely stand up for yourself, but instead I felt as though I had been made a fool of.  While I continued to wait in the “true” line, I glanced at the other customers, 3 people standing behind me, and gave my best “I tried” look. No one responded.  More humiliation.

I walked home after this experience fuming.  I was boiling mad.  I vented to my husband. I vented to my friends. I vented to my mom.  Clearly this bothered me. I had taken the time to stand up for myself, for what, Universe?  Riddle me this?  Then I realised, I did exactly what I had set out to accomplish.  I may not have gotten the results that I wanted, but I did role-model strength, self-respect, and respect of others.  Hopefully the Universe will leave me alone on this one now!

While crossing paths in a crosswalk earlier this week I made eye contact with a man and it was electric.  We smiled at each other, but it wasn’t the polite smile you make when you pass people on the street.  

It was the smile you exchange with a close friend in a crowded room when someone says something that makes you both think of an inside joke.  One of those moments where neither of you needs to say it out loud but you both know what the other is thinking, so you just smile mischievously at each other.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, it screamed ‘connection’!!!

But did he stop? No.  Did I stop? No.

We were in a crosswalk heading in opposite directions, it would be weird to stop, I told myself.

But as I walked further and further away from the moment – I thought about it.  I hoped I was about to get a tap on my shoulder and I would turn and look back in those bright eyes and it would be like ‘a-ha, there you are – we’ve both been waiting for this moment haven’t we?’ – but no.

Day after day I’ve thought about it:

• Moments like that are the reasons why there are ‘missed connections’ sections in the newspaper.
• Moments like that are the things which make for cute ‘how we met’ stories.
• Moments like that are why I watch romantic comedies.

But I keep telling myself that real-life is not like in the movies.

And so I walked away from the scene – empty handed and pensive.

Have any of you had a similar experience?  Did you walk away or turn and take charge?

I wasn’t always like this. My love affair with tea began when my now husband and I started dating. He was a fan of green tea and we used to drink the stuff all day. I remember clearly how amazing the tea would make me feel – thus began my tea-addiction.

After moving to Victoria, we began discovering amazing tea shops and as a result, our knowledge and tastes expanded. We have tasted and enjoyed many varieties of oolongs, pur-eh, rooibos, green teas, white teas, mattes, and  herbal teas.  I have been converted from bagged to fresh tea. The very thought and sight of using a tea bag now  disgusts me (I know! Horrible, right?!). After you have had fresh tea, it’s hard to go back to tea that has been sitting in a box for who knows how long.  Also, who doesn’t like to see all the little bits of fresh tea?

But, it has gotten so bad that when friends ask me over to watch a movie or dinner, I bring my own tea and strainer because I just assume that no one else, or at the very least, very few people are as crazy about tea as I am. I love showing off all the various types I have acquired and I scuff at the tea bags that people think are tea… oh God, I just hate hearing myself.  How did this happen?

Well, it has happened and I am just going to have to face the fact that I am a crazy tea lady.But, even though I am crazy and obsessive about tea, there must be others. Is there something that you are crazy and a little weird about? Maybe it’s certain fashions, beauty products, you only eat organic foods, etc… Come on, fess up!  Don’t leave a girl hanging!

Are you a tea drinker? Are you as crazy as I am?

Some of you may recall when several months ago, I was lucky enough to be selected to receive a box full of new Revlon makeup products, as part of their Revlon Selects review program.  Receiving free product in the mail – it was quite the day for me!

Well, the other week, I found a box of new Revlon nail products waiting for me on my doorstep when I got home from work. What an awesome way to cap off a busy work-day!

The current box from Revlon contained items from their Limited Edition Runway Inspired Spring Nail Sensations line, which includes Chroma Chameleon and ColourStay Nude Collection nail enamel and Nail Art 3D Jewel Appliqués. And I must say, I’m pretty darn impressed with all three!

Chroma Chameleon is described as being rich jewel tones with colour changing multi-chromes. I was sent the Rose Gold colour and it’s a versatile option. When looking at it straight-on, the colour is fairly neutral, with a hint of chrome/metallic shine to it. At different angles, you get flashes of a more intense rose gold shade, along with greens. It’s a great nail enamel that allows you to have a neutral, yet fun colour. In my last review of Revlon nail enamel, I wasn’t too thrilled that it didn’t seem to last more than a day or so before any issues, but I’ve been able to go 3-4 days with this enamel before anything started to chip. A great bonus to the chrome is that this polish still looks great when touching it up. It blends wonderfully!

I can’t say enough when it comes to how much I love the ColourStay Nude Collection! This will definitely be a very popular enamel that I personally plan on wearing all the time. The idea behind the collection is to be a skin tone matching enamel that helps to elongate fingertips. I was sent Nude Beige, and originally thought the shade was not going to match to well to my olive skin tone, but I could not have been more wrong. This is a great alternative to clear nail polish when wanting a minimalistic look. The colour is subtle, but greatly improves the look of your fingernails. As it is part of their ColourStay line, it is meant to last longer before chipping, and it really does live up to that promise. It has been 6 days, without a base and top coat, and it is only just beginning to chip. By using ColourStay base and top coat, you should get up to 11 days of chip-free wear!

 Last, but certainly not least, are the super fun 3D Wildflowers Jewel Appliqués. Allowing you to easily dress up your nails with nail art couldn’t be easier than with these. Included in the package is a mini-file and buffer, as well as a cuticle stick, allowing you to prep your nails so the appliqués last. With 8 different patterns available, these are going to be perfect for the summer!

While my feelings for the last box of products were hit and miss, I can honestly say that I’m really enjoying these latest products and can’t wait to continue trying them out! Thanks again, Revlon, for sending these items my way

I however struggle with this.  I suppose it’s the chance we take by allowing ourselves to be close to people – we risk giving them power and opportunity to hurt us.  However, the busier life gets, the more I want to look forward to time spent with my friends and trust that they appreciate, respect and value our friendship enough to not risk hurting me or losing my trust. 

Chances are you’re fortunate enough to have at least a couple close friends – and chances are that at some point or another, they’ve hurt your feelings or you’ve felt disappointed by something they’ve done.

Whether it was done intentionally or inadvertently, it happened.  But sometimes it isn’t just a matter of recognizing that someone is going through a tough time and they need your support and understanding.  Sometimes a serious situation with a close friend can leave you feeling betrayed, hurt and disappointed.  I personally have found myself forever changed by experiences like this, and as my mom sometimes says, we may forgive,  but we will never forget.  I may have forgiven the ‘friend’ and moved forward deciding that it’s worth giving the person a second chance.  But I’ll still carry the wrongdoing around in my mind like a mental score sheet hoping that I wont be proven a fool.

If you’re living in the Now – and you’ve accepted and come to the ‘agreement’ that it’s not all about you…  (Meaning you recognize that the actions of others really only reflect their realities and have very little to do with you) — How many chances do you give people who slight you, before deciding they aren’t good to you (or good for you) and you should distance yourself from them all  together.

Question:

• Does living in the now and accepting and adopting the four agreements mean you cease to acknowledge when people do you wrong?
• How many ‘chances’ should people get?
• Do you have a mental tally on how many times a particular person has done you wrong or how have you learned to stop sweating the small stuff?

But, do we really need cable? Cable to me is such a funny thing. I love having it and there are shows I really enjoy to watch, but, I also feel like I don’t need it. I went through most of my twenties without cable and it didn’t bother me at all. Even two years ago, we had no cable for the summer and I didn’t miss it. I find that when the weather is nicer, it is easy to find other things to do outside to occupy my time.

My husband and I had a discussion years ago when deciding to get cable. I told him I was happy without it, but he wanted it in order to watch hockey and the occasional program. So, we have come up with the arrangement that he pays for the cable and I take over some of the other monthly bills, like Hydro.

But, with all the shows you can watch online and on Netflix, is cable really worth it any more?  I know that I am not spending the money each month for it, but, I think it would be nice for my husband to have that extra money for something else.

What are your thoughts on cable? Do you have it or not?

Blogging this past year has opened up a new avenue to explore my feelings. My previous avenue was watching romantic comedies and alternating between laughing and bawling. This is better and less messy. Our monthly planning meetings have also been a great excuse to hang out with my ladies, drink wine, and decompress in an otherwise tumultuous year. Here’s looking forward to another great year to come!

Katie xoxo

This past year as been such an amazing journey for me. During the year, I have lost my job and now I am about  to start a new one. It has been one of the toughest, but also one of the most spiritually rewarding, years of my life. I have felt so honored and happy to be able to tell people about my struggles and triumphs. I feel like I have finally found my voice and I thank all of you for listening and providing me with your thoughts and feedback. Here’s to another great year!

Love Alana 

The past year has including some majors ups and downs for me personally and professionally.  Being able to connect and share with so many amazing people through A Life Less Awkward has definitely been among the highlights.  I’m looking forward to continuing to explore and evolve personally and creatively, and I can’t wait to see what’s around the next corner for us

PS. Husband fail. J accidentally deleted all the pictures he took from our 1st Anniversary bash. Ooops! Instead, enjoy these atmosphere pictures and a picture of Katie and Laura and their attempt at the Captain Morgan’s pose

Okay it doesn’t make EVERYTHING better – but it’s nice to kick back with friends or toast to each other’s accomplishments!  It’s also nice to have the perfect bodied red wine to compliment a culinary masterpiece.

Here are my top choices for relatively inexpensive red wines:

1. Cono Sur Organic Cabernet Sauvignon
2. Rigamarole Red
3. Ex Nihilo Pinot Noir

Favorite three dishes to serve with a red wine:

1. Spicy pasta and tomato soup like this Fagioli
2. Shredded beef tacos
3. Pork & Black Bean Soup

Got any dish suggestion that go with red?

If you prefer white wine – Laura and I have a current favorite, this Casal Garcia Vinho Verde!

No one likes moving to new places.
Photo Credit: Eva Zysk

It’s not an uncommon thing. People move to different cities all over the world for work, or other reasons, so I’m not sure why I’m so freaked out by the thought of it.

When I was younger, all I wanted to do was get out of Victoria and live somewhere bigger. Vancouver, London or Rome were all great ideas to me. I even considered Toronto and New York (c’mon, who doesn’t want a ‘Sex and the City’ life?!). But the thing is, I never moved. I’ve never actually lived anywhere other than Victoria. I realized a little while ago why I never actually moved. I used to say that it was because I never saved enough money, or because I couldn’t find a job, or some other random excuse, but the real reason really was that I was scared of taking that jump and of leaving my friends and family. Even a move to Vancouver never happened for those reasons. While I always thought I wanted a change in my life, I really was, and am, quite happy with my life in Victoria. It might not be as fun and interesting as it would be if I lived in a big city, but it also isn’t as lonely. I have family living in Victoria and several great groups of friends that I would miss incredibly if they weren’t just a 10 minute drive away.

However, there comes a point where you aren’t just moving for a change in your location, but because of work. J and I have recently revived our discussion about moving to a big city. Because of the industry that he works in, there are many more opportunities for success in larger, metropolitan cities such as Toronto, Vancouver, and even London. All those cities has been topics of discussion over the past year, as we debate which location would have the most to offer. My career sector makes its fairly easy to find work in different cities, so that reduces one of the problems. We recently came to the conclusion that Vancouver would be a good move, as it isn’t a huge change for us and allows us to still be close enough to allow for frequent visits with family and friends. While I personally love the idea of moving to London (I love Europe), Vancouver is a good stepping stone. It also goes to say that this move isn’t necessarily a permanent one. In a few years we could end up moving back to Victoria.

While I accept that moving to Vancouver is a good career move for J, I’m still quite sad about the thought of starting over in a new city where I don’t know many people. Luckily the move isn’t set in stone and we are still discussing it, but the time has come where it is more of a possibility than in the past, and I need to conquer my fears about the move.

Have you ever moved to a new town, for work or personal desires? What went through your mind when dealing with the discussion and what tips or advice do you have for this move-weary girl?

My mom is pretty amazing, she makes jewellery, loves to travel and makes me laugh.  I love spending time with her.  Over the years we have  gotten to know each other as friends and have discovered  common interests (singing, shopping, travelling, watching romantic comedies…)

It’s nice to know and connect with her on an adult level.  <Enter image of mom and I laughing, giggling and indulging in wine – adults have fun too you know!>  Mom and I talk like friends, and spend time together because (shockingly) we like some of the same things and enjoy each other’s company.

It occurred to me today that if one day I have a daughter,  I hope she feels as lucky to have me in her life, in the same way as I count my blessings for my own Mumma.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all bunnies-and-kitties-and-rainbows.  Like the day we planned to go garage saling together and somehow we’d managed to dress identically, right down to red shoes.

Or more recently when she bought these gorgeous black suede boots with fringe that I really think ought to live in MY closet not hers.  And I know she hates it when I shake my head or shoot her a withering look when she holds up an article of clothing to see what I think.  *Side note: those are also the moments I hear her mutter under her breath about how I never let her buy Anything fun. Just remember those black boots Mumma, those black boots.

Having a mom who loves you unconditionally and supports you even when you do really dumb things (TRUST me, I do plenty) is a pretty lucky thing.

She must really like me, and the feeling’s most definitely mutual.

Happy Mother’s Day Mumma – Love you!!

So what did I learn?

1) Don’t overcrowd.

Last year I tried my hand at growing potatoes. It might have been more successful if I had tried planting ONLY potatoes in my garden.

Attack of the crazy tubers! | A Life Less Awkward

Potato tubers grow quite large and block out the sun for anything else that you might be trying to grow in the area. I also planted far too many seed potatoes in the small area that I was working with. That did not help with the crazy tubers at all. Not only did I not get a single potato (I cut the tubers back, and ended up just stunting the growth of the potatoes), but I also killed my lettuce and carrots that I was trying to grow. I think I got about 3 lettuce leaves and that was it. Without any sun, plants just don’t really grow. Huh, who would have thought!

2) Don’t be cheap.As it had been a long time since I had grown tomatoes, I decided that I didn’t need to buy tomato cages for the plants and could just tie them up to bamboo sticks that I purchased. While this could work, as a novice gardener, this is far, far too much effort when you just want to be able to reap the benefits of growing things in your backyard (or patio, in my case). I ended up having a jumble of bamboo sticks coming out everywhere, with green ties here, there and everywhere. Sometimes they would hold the plant up, sometimes they would fail completely, and other times I would have tied them so tight that they ended up basically killing off that stem. Either way, it wasn’t a very good use of my time and effort.

I would also invest in a climbing trellis, or something similar if you are going to grow cucumbers. I used the bamboo sticks for my cucumbers, but once the cucumber started to grow I found that they were too heavy and kept hurting the plant. If you don’t have the room on the ground for them to grow, than I highly recommend something like this. It is definitely what I’m planning this coming year for the cucumbers and beans that I’m planning.

3) Don’t over-water.

While I wasn’t drowning my plants, I definitely was watering more than necessary, especially for some plants. I didn’t plant the garden layout quite right, so I ended up having lettuce planted right beside my red onions. Lettuce requires more watering than onions, so I ended up killing all my red onions. Well actually, they just turned moldy in the ground and didn’t actually grow. It’s quite disappointing when you pull up moldy roots when you are expecting beautiful red onions. I didn’t get a single viable onion out of my entire batch. I’m still debating if I want to try again.

4) Don’t plant in inappropriate locations.

If I was having a smart moment, it would have been quite clear to me that my fence would completely block all the sun from my strawberry plants. Instead, I decided that I knew better than everything that has been written on growing strawberries and planted them right beside the fence. I got a total of 3 strawberries from that plant, when in fact it should have produced a whole lot more. Not only did I only grow 3 strawberries, but it also turns out that my dog loves strawberries and would munch on them while I had my back turned. I didn’t get to sample a single one. I’m going to go back to what I know works well in my location. A hanging basket! It gets loads of light, and keeps the fruit out of reach for my mischievous puggle.

My tranquil garden last summer. NOT what it currently looks like now, with weeds and some dead plants that didn’t survive the winter

I’m still working on the planning for my garden this year, but you can be sure that I will be remembering these lessons learned when figuring out what I’m planting and where. If you have any misses with your veggie garden, what are some tips that you would pass onto those who have not quite mastered the art of the perfect garden? Any tips for gardening when you have sneaky strawberry (or other fruit/veggie) and loving animals?

I felt like she got stuck in the 20 year old style of clothing and never moved on to what might be more appropriate for someone in their 40s. Currently I am in my mid-30s and  I realized a while ago that the majority of stores I used to shop at in my 20s, were no longer meant for me.

I don’t remember the exactly when this happened, but I do recall looking around one day in a store that I used to love and I realized, I am actually too old for this stuff. I also remember feeling a bit sad that I had to say goodbye to some of my favourite styles and stores. One day last year, I actually tried on this cute little dress. The style I knew was a bit young for me, but I tried it on anyways. Once I came out of the dressing room and looked at myself in the mirror, I knew right away it was all wrong for me. I looked like an older lady trying to look younger, and the effect made me look even older than what I am. I realized at that moment the importance of wearing age appropriate clothing and how it can actually make you look more youthful.

So, I have slowly and surely found  my favourite clothing stores in Victoria that are appropriate for my age. My first favourite store is Ricki’s. I absolutely love Ricki’s because I find their clothes are well made and also office appropriate. They also have great reward programs and return policies. The next store that I love is Dots. It takes a bit of a commitment going through the store, but, if you give it time, you can find some amazing pieces. Also, if you sign up for their emails, you get additional deals and notifications of sales. My last favourite place to shop for my age group is Mercedes Lane Too. Going into the store and looking around is a treat within itself; you should really check it out.

These are some of my favourite stores to now shop at. What are your favourites? Have you had to change where you shop because of your age?

My views on life, what is important and what really makes me happy have changed. I have become much more spiritual and have expanded my beliefs in the field of quantum physics. I also believe we exist in a vibrational universe and share a universal consciousness.

So, you can imagine how crazy some of my beliefs might sound to someone who hasn’t spent the time I have contemplating these things. But, as I have been exploring and expanding my beliefs on life, someone close to me has not been as supportive as I would expect them to be.

I found that this person would look annoyed or question my beliefs and I was starting to not feel comfortable being or expressing who I was becoming around them. I don’t mind having a good ol’ fashioned debate about different religions or perspectives on life, but, this seemed like complete contempt for my new beliefs. I have never judged this person’s beliefs and I always supported them in what they practiced and/or pursued so I was hurt by their reaction.

As scared as I was (I hate confrontation), I realized that I had to say something. I knew this person really cares about me and wants me to be myself.  So, I told them how I felt. I said that I knew they care about me, but, I felt like I couldn’t be myself anymore. I stressed how I have changed over the past seven months and that I needed to feel supported and free to be who I am and who I will become.

I was shocked by what happened next. This person had no idea that they made me feel  unsupported. They were also so proud that I am looking for a spiritual path. They then went on to share with me their own personal experiences growing up with spirituality; turns out they are very private about it and as a result, they do not like to talk about it.

After our discussion, I felt so much relief. I  understand this person better and in return they understand what I need out of them in order to be myself. It is so important that you are surrounded by caring people who support who you really are and who you are becoming and that you in return, do the same for them.

RRSPs and TFSAs

RRSPs are the primary method of retirement saving for most Canadians. They are a way to defer the taxes on your income from now until when you take the money out to spend it. It’s also sort-of locked in, in that if you take your money out of an RRSP before a certain age (65? 71?) you have to pay tax on it PLUS an extra tax just for taking it early. So this is good in that once you’ve put money in, you can pretty much be sure it will be waiting for you when you retire.

The flip side of this is the TFSA (Tax Free Savings Account). The tax implications of this are reversed – you get taxed when you put the money in, and NOT when you take it out later. So if you are a student or think your income now is lower than it probably will be when you retire, this is a good choice. The only downside (or upside?) is that your money is not locked in. This is bad if you know you’re likely to dip into it, like me and the husband. So for us, even though J is a student right now and a TFSA should be the right choice, we actually put money into his RRSP, since we want it locked in for later.

RESPs

The Registered Education Savings Plan (RESP) is for education, not retirement. However if you have kids this can be a good savings method in general, and money you save in an RESP for their education is money you don’t have to pull from your retirement savings later. I also love any method of getting free money from the government, and the government tops up your RESP savings by up to $500/year (a little more if you fall below an income benchmark), with a cap of $7,200 per child per lifetime. For FREE. That’s my kind of savings.

Here’s an article from the Globe and Mail that talks about this in more detail.

Penny Jar

Tried, tested, and true. This method of saving falls under the “out of sight, out of mind” idea. If you save up in a jar, it seems silly but if you saved, say, $500 per year, empty the jar and deposit it in your RRSP every year, that’s $15,000 for 30 years. And that’s before any interest earned. If you invest in something with a modest little return of something like 3%, that money will be nearly $24,000 at the end of those 30 years!

Investing

As mentioned above, even a small interest rate, when given enough time, will yield super results. Here’s a compound interest calculator, play with it – it will change your world. I haven’t yet started playing with investments, other than my RRSP which is pretty basic. However I want to start playing around with a little bit of money soon and see how much I can make. When you have enough money to save up, it’s a good idea to spread your investments around, ie: don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Most major banks have ways to set up online investing. There’s a lot to this topic that I don’t know about, but the basic idea is that you have the potential to earn 10, even 20 percent. You also have the potential to lose money, but if you start early, diversify, and are in it for the long run, your money will generally grow pretty well.

Life Insurance

First let me say that I am in no way an expert on this, or money in general. However I’ve heard that there are some kinds of life insurance that you can cash out when you’re older, so they are kind of like forced savings. I recently talked to my insurance guy about all of this, and he was showing me a plan that you contribute to for 20 years and then you’re done. You’re insured for life and it keeps growing as you get older, like an investment. The real benefit is not the actual life insurance (which is great for your kids but does you no good while you’re alive) but the borrowing power against that life insurance. For example, if you pay into a plan that covers you for one million dollars, it actually grows to more than that (as I said, like an investment). For the 20 years you contributed, you will probably put in something like $75k total in monthly payments. There is a cash-out portion that you can withdraw along the way which is more than the premiums you put in, so your money has grown already. OR you can use it as leverage and borrow against it from the bank, which is the real pay-off. The bank knows that when you die you’ve got this insurance so they will get paid back, so you basically get to spend your own insurance early. And you’re unlikely to borrow or spend the whole amount of your insurance, so there’s still a hefty chunk left over as an actual inheritance when you die.

I would start contributing to this pronto if I could, but the monthly payments are large (about $200/month). However if I start when I’m 40 or so (because according to my 10 year plan I’ll be rich by then ) then I can contribute to it for 60 years and then reap the rewards! If you’re interested in this definitely talk to an insurance broker about it, since obviously this is a very high-level, specific-to-me account of this. But it sounds promising. I heard this from Bobby Vu at Sun Life but there are probably various versions of this with other companies as well.

Starting Early

With most of these ideas, starting early is pretty key. Even if you don’t think you have any money to save, try to put just a little bit of money away each month. Let’s say you’re 20 and you save $50 per month until you’re 25, then you bump it to $100 until you’re 30. You’re probably not going to miss that money at all. The money you will have put aside is $9000, not too shabby. And on top of that, if you’ve got it in an RRSP that gives you 5% interest, the actual value of your money at age 30 will be $11,164. So you’ve made over $2000 on top of saving $9000! And you’re just 30! If you kept saving just $100 per month until you’re 65 (and I can guarantee that you’ll have more to spare at that age, but whatever let’s go with $100) then by age 65 you’ll have about $177,600! Just by saving a tiny, tiny portion of your income every month. Imagine what can happen if you save more.

That should give you some ideas of ways to save for retirement. Anyone have any others? I feel like there must be other options, especially if you don’t start quite as early as I’m suggesting. I only started at about 27 or so, when my employer started contribution matching.

Ingredients:

• 4 large sweet or yellow onions
• 1-3 garlic bulbs 1 large or 3 small
• 12 brown mushrooms sliced & browned
• 1 c Bacon bits or 8 slices of bacon (optional)
• 900 ml beef broth
• 3 c Malbec or full bodied red wine of your choice
• Olive oil
• 1/2 – 1.5 c Water for roasting pans
• French or artisan bread
• Havarti cheese

Instructions:

1. Cut onions in 1/8s or 1/4s

2. Place in roasting pan, lightly drizzle with olive oil

 3.  Sprinkle with bacon bits or over lay with bacon slices

4. Top garlic bulbs to expose cloves for roasting, place in separate roasting pan,  lightly drizzle with Olive oil.

5. Add a 1/8 inch of water in bottom of each roasting pan to reduce sticking and give moisture to contents as they broil.

6. Place in oven set to broil checking every 15 minutes to assess roasting progress (browness).

 7. When bacon strips are browned remove from onions & crumble.

@ ~ 30 mins …

8. Once brown edges form on exposed onions, add 3 cups of Malbec to roasting pan.  Stir contents to expose in roasted surfaces.

9. Slice & brown mushrooms in a fry pan, dress with pepper & set aside.

10. Continue to roast up to 1 hr or until onions & garlic are nicely softened & roasted.

11. Remove from oven.

12. Add mushrooms, to a soup pot, add garlic cloves squeezed from their husks.

13. Add onions, bacon & wine.  Add beef broth.  Place over medium heat & bring soup up to near boil. Lower heat.

14. Dish out into oven safe bowls.

16. Slice bread to cover top of bowl, place slices of cheese on top of bread, and broil in oven until cheese melts and is slightly browned.  

Serve.

I went to a tea festival a couple of weeks back and instead of buying ANY tea – I bought this huge bag of organic dried coconut.

Total impulse buy, I’ll admit it.

Up to and including the moment I paid for this delicious dried bag – o – possibilities I had no idea what I would eventually do with it.  I just assumed that there were so many options out there and that inspiration would just come to me.

But no.  The bag is still largely full and sitting in my cupboard waiting for me to be inspired.

So now I need your help – What the heck should I do with it?

Then there was the weird stage when people would, at least what felt like to me, frantically add every person they have ever met in order to have over a 1000 friends. I remember being Facebooked by a girl that I worked with. We rarely spoke to each other, not that we didn’t like each other, we just didn’t get the chance. So, once she Facebooked me, I thought, ‘oh, how nice, she wants to be friends’. So, the next day when I saw her at work, I smiled and said ‘hi’. Well, she looked at me like I was crazy. At that moment I realized to some people, having Facebook friends was really about the number and not about actually being friends at all.

Then there is the stage when your family gets on Facebook and they become your friend. Great, now you have to be careful what pictures you post and what you say.  I am a bit shy on Facebook anyways, but, now I feel a bit more stifled and censored.

Did you also get to that stage when you felt you had to clean house and get rid of those Facebook friends that you didn’t want anymore?

But, as much as I find Facebook weird and strange sometimes, I have to admit that I do enjoy hearing how my friends up north and on the other side of the world are doing. It has enabled me to stay connected with people that I probably would of lost touch with.

I also find it amazing to see how unique everyone’s Facebook community is. With a really close friend or partner, you will have friends in common, but, you also have so many other friends, family and acquaintances that are unique to you. It just goes to show how different all our experiences are. I like to feel that it is my own unique community that reflects where I came from and who I am now.

The other thing I really like is when I have really exciting news and I can share it with everyone on Facebook right away.  I just love seeing how many people ‘like’ what I have to say and I love reading their comments. Also, the extra ‘happy birthdays’ are always nice!

I remember hearing someone say that technology is neither good nor bad, but what you make of it. Facebook to me has become a good thing. It used to drive me a little nuts when certain friends have all these amazing statuses and have awesome pictures from trips, etc… So, I have learned that it is ok to unfriend someone if they drive you nuts on Facebook or you can  hide their status feeds. If they are a close friend and unfriending them may have consequences, you can hide their status updates and it is like they don’t exist at all, well, at least on Facebook.

What is your experience with Facebook like?

Type

According to Club House, the shelf life for properly stored herbs and spices are:

Whole Spices and Seeds: 3-4 years

Ground Spices: 2-3 years

Leafy Herbs: 1-3 years

Seasoning Blends: 1-2 years

Quality

As with most food products, the quality of the herbs and spices will affect how well they hold up over time. If you are buying your spices from the dollar store (I own a few from there, so in no way am I bashing this!), then you can expect that they won’t hold their flavour as long as spices purchased from specialty spice stores, or even the grocery store. That’s not to say that it’s wise to spend $50 on one spice, in the hopes that it will last for 10+ years.  While herbs and spices don’t spoil, they will lose their strength and potency over time and might not provide you with the desired result down the road.

Colour

It is good to have a starting point of what the original colour of your spices and herbs were for this one. Chili powder and paprika will lose some of their bright red colour and head towards a red-brown. They are still flavourful, but not the same as they once were. Green herbs will lose their vibrancy as well. Tarragon starts off a duller green, so just because it’s not vibrant, doesn’t mean it’s not fresh. Colour can help you with the freshness only to a certain extent.  A good test when you aren’t sure of the potency is to crush or rub some of the spice in your hand. If the aroma is still strong, then you can expect a decent flavour punch from them when cooking. If the aroma is dull or non-existent, than you know that you will be getting nothing out of them when added to recipes. At this point, it is wise to replace that herb or spice.

Storage

I know that I love to have my herbs and spices on display, partly so that I actually remember what I have and that I need to use them. However, this isn’t the smartest plan for their longevity. Spices should be stored in sealed, air-tight containers (glass is great for this) and stored away from light and heat. Think about putting them in a cupboard or a drawer when you can easily find what you need, but don’t have to have them on perma-display. When using any spice or herb, don’t use it directly from the jar, when adding to a recipe. Steam gets into the container and can leave you with damp, clumpy herbs and spices, which just speed up their decline. Pour some into your hand or into a separate bowl and work from that. You are spending enough money on these items, so why send them their deathbed any sooner than necessary.

A second hand pair of Toms: not only did someone buy these full price and in doing so, assisted Toms in sending a pair of shoes to someone in need – now I have them!  That means three people have benefitted from one person’s initial purchase. (Thanks unknown shopper!) I love my new (to me) shoes and am proudly wearing them about town!

A faux leather jacket: It’s light enough to wear out in the spring air – heavy enough to wear over a sweater in the fall when the air gets chilly  - and the bomber style is quickly being incorporated into as many outfits as I can muster!  Up next on my list of outfits to try to match it with is a long dress or skirt.  Totally on the hunt for the perfect wide striped maxi dress!

Third – okay this is tough, the first two were easy to choose but, in reality, there’s been lots of great finds lately, whether via Clothes Swap or second hand stores or regular shopping!   I guess one accessory I always find inspiring and easy to incorporate into my wardrobe would be wide colourful scarves.  Here’s one I got in a clothes swap and every time I wear it people compliment me on it! Win!

Since I obviously lack will power when it comes to obtaining new articles of clothing or accessories and shoes, rest assured it’s only a matter of time before I’ll be ready to update you all again with my latest favorite finds.

One day while flipping through the channels I caught the last half of a Dr. Oz show, in which he was discussing a 3 day detox cleanse. I thought, wow, this sounds great. The cleanse is only 3 days long, you get to have four smoothies a day and it is supposed to help jump start weight loss and get rid of stomach bloat.

Well, it is mid-morning on day 3 as I write this post and I am now taking myself off the cleanse. It’s not that I don’t think this cleanse is good, I am sure it is for some people, it’s just not the cleanse for me.

Here are my pros and cons for this cleanse, keeping in mind this is MY experience and does not mean you would have the same reaction to this detox:

Pros:

-the shopping list made it so easy to get the ingredients for this cleanse

-it has motivated me to clean up my diet

-my body responds really positively to the morning shake and it is a shake that I will continue to make

-my stomach and waist do feel smaller

-by day 2, my skin was glowing!

-drinking the shakes is a good reminder to chew your food properly before swallowing. One of the reasons they used shakes for this cleanse is because most people do not chew their food properly and liquefying your food insures you receive all the nutrients from your food.

Cons:

-the ingredients are expensive! Especially the coconut oil and almond butter. If you do this cleanse, I recommend checking out the Jubilee Rexall IDA on the corner of Richmond and Fort for the two items; they usually have them reasonably priced. The also carry cayenne pepper and coconut water. The rest of the items I found reasonably priced at the Rootcellar.

-by the 3rd morning, I was feeling so weak that I had to break my cleanse. I went for a walk instead of doing my normal 45minutes of intensive cardio that morning and I felt so weak near the end of my walk.

-I did not have a food processor, so, this may have ruined the taste of the lunch and dinner shakes

-by the 2nd night, I had quite the pain in my lower intestine. Maybe I didn’t drink enough water?

Things to keep in mind:

-it would be best to use virgin coconut oil otherwise, you will miss out on that great coconut taste in your mid-afternoon shake

-ease yourself into the cleanse. This means, have a sensible dinner the night before you start; a.k.a, don’t do what I did and have a last supper filled with unhealthy foods. I felt pretty headachy the first day of the cleanse, probably because I didn’t ease myself into the detox.

-use a good food processor; you don’t want to eat bits of kale and spinach in your shake (that is just gross!)

-there are no guidelines on how much water you should drink, but, I would recommend a lot!

Would I recommend this cleanse?

-I would if you are looking to clean up your diet and you need reminders on which foods you should be eating.  But, if you are really active and used to eating more calories and good complex carbs and lots of protein for energy, this diet may not be for you.  Or you may have to choose to not be active during those three 3 days.

-I don’t regret doing this cleanse because it has  put me back on the path to good eating habits and better health.

Morning Detox Green Tea with Lemon

Have you done this cleanse or similar cleanses?

Think about how you picture your golden years. (ps – why are they called golden? They should be called grey, it’s more visually realistic. Or in my case, probably a transparent lavender.) For me, I’m sitting on a dock somewhere, wine/tea in hand, reading a book with my dog. Or travelling. Anywhere, it doesn’t even matter, just travelling. And doing pottery. Obviously not while travelling, reading, dock-sitting, and drinking wine/tea. Clay is messy, after all. None of these activities involve working in a job I don’t like past about 60. And they all involve money. More money than I have right now. So if I want that money, and I don’t want to work for it after 60, if I do the math… hmm… carry the one… I’m going to have to save that money now.

Maybe I’ll work part-time as a consultant when I’m older, that sounds okay. I don’t want my brain to get mushy before its time. After all I’m probably going to live until 100, most of my family gets pretty close and I’m quite healthy. However that is the only scenario I like that involves me working into retirement.

So come on RRSPs, start growing, mama needs a new pottery wheel.

This is another one of those posts that asks more questions than it answers. Next time, though, we explore actual ways to save for retirement that don’t involve living like a miser now, such as investing in RRSPs early. Or starting a penny jar.

My sister and I used to make this sandwich on a regular basis but I hadn’t made it in years, until I saw a bottle of pesto in my fridge the other day and was trying to come up with something to use it for. It sparked the reminder of the best sandwich EVER and I decided it was time to share the amazingness with the world. It’s a relatively quick and easy recipe so check it out!

The Sister Special Sandwich aka Pesto Chicken Open-Faced Sandwich

makes 2 open-faced sandwiches

What You Need :

• 1 Chicken Breast, thinly sliced
• 1/2 Red Onion, thinly sliced
• 1/2 tsp Italian Seasoning (or mix of oregano, thyme, basil, etc)
• Balsamic Vinegar (amount depends on how much you love balsamic vinegar – I use about 2-3 tsp)
• Provolone Cheese, 2 slices (havarti also works great!)
• French Bread, 2 slices (or any type of bread or sturdy bun)
• 1 tbsp Pesto
• 1 tbsp Miracle whip
• Olive oil

What to Do:

1. Heat a saute pan to med-high heat on the stove and add a bit of olive oil to the pan

2. Once hot, add the thinly sliced chicken breast to the pan and sprinkle the italian seasoning over the chicken; saute for 1-2 minutes until the chicken has been sealed (no longer pink on the outside)

3. Lower the temperature to medium and add the thinly sliced red onion to the pan and stir everything together; continue to saute for 1-2 minutes

4. Meanwhile, toast slices of french bread to desired toasty-ness. I like a light golden, but it is also good when the bread is a bit firmer, once the goodness gets added.

5. Add balsamic vinegar to the mix and stir it all together, so everything gets evenly coated. Saute for another few minutes, until the onions are fully cooked. Remove from heat

6. Mix up pesto mayo – add pesto to miracle whip and stir (very complex, I know!). Adjust the pesto-to-miracle whip ratio depending on your love of pesto

7. Grab the toasty bread from the toaster oven (or toaster) and put a decent amount of pesto mayo on the bread – don’t skimp on the goodness!

8. Next up, spoon on the chicken/onion balsamic mixture so that you have a solid covering. Lay a piece of provolone over top and then

pop back into the toaster oven under broil.

9. Watch carefully!! Once the cheese is melted and starts to bubble, remove the sandwich from the toaster oven (or big oven if that’s what you’re using) and let it sit for a minute.

10. Slice it in half and put it on a plate. Enjoy!

This is also great as a closed sandwich, but I’m a fan of it as an open faced sandwich. If you opt for the closed sandwich route, then I recommend lessening the amount of pesto mayo on the 1st piece of bread, so that you can add some to the 2nd piece of bread. That way you get the pesto yumminess enveloping the chicken delightfully.

Let’s face it, there are some times in life when it feels like not only have we been handed lemons –  it’s as though life has gone ahead and squeezed lemon juice directly in our eyes and then stood back to have a good ol’ laugh at our expense.

In times like this we have a choice to either give up and melt into a puddle of self-pity or be courageous and work through it. Sometimes the stinging lasts only a short while, and other times for much too long, and it’s often impossible to know how long the ride will be this time round.

At the current moment, there seems to be numerous people I know who are enduring frustrating or challenging times in their lives.  In my role as friend and family I try to support in any way I can, because  it frustrates me when I feel like there isn’t some way I can help.  Sometimes time is the only solution, one day at a time, and having to simply sit back and watch life unfold doesn’t feel like a solution.

But the more time I observe my loved ones endure life’s bumps and hurdles with grace, positivity, humility and humour; the more their courageous perseverance inspires me.

A wise person once told me it’s okay to visit Self-Pity City: but you can’t live there.

Image source: Wikipedia

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a fear of needles. I’m not a fan of them at all. I remember when I was in grade 6 and we had to get a series of 3 shots for Hep C and this was terrifying! Granted I didn’t pass out with a needle in my arm like one of my classmates did, but I remember trying to be ‘sick’ each day we had to get one and being on the verge of a breakdown each time we were in the nurses’ office. I think one day I actually did bawl my eyes out in terror of having another needle go into my arm. Up until I got mono (still don’t know who I kissed to get it tho ) in my early 20′s, I absolutely refused to get any shots or blood drawn, as there was NO WAY that I was going through that terror again. Mono was my breaking point though. I absolutely needed to get blood tests, and while I resisted at first, I eventually became okay with it. The first few times my sister actually came with me and read aloud all the cards in my wallet to distract me. I still remember that and it brings a (slightly terrified) smile to my face. Since that time, while I’m not happily skipping to appointments that involve needles, I’m not running away with fear either. I’m so glad that I got to that point as when I was in a car accident several months ago, my physiotherapist basically told me that he wouldn’t see me again until I had seen an acupuncturist, as I had been putting it off for over a month at that point. I’m happy he ‘forced’ me to go to acupuncture as I now have developed a bit of a love for it. Strange huh?

Acupuncture has actually kind of changed my world lately.  Since I began acupuncture, my amazing acupuncturist has been not only treating my injuries, but also my whole body. The idea behind acupuncture is that to treat one part of your body, you need to treat whatever else is going on in your body, by using the body’s meridians,  qi, and acupuncture points. I love this idea, instead of focusing on just one specific problem and allowing the rest of your body to continue to suffer. Over the last 7+ years I’ve suffered from numerous food intolerances which make healthy living frustrating. When the majority of foods that are healthy are on the ‘bad’ list, it’s easy to let your entire lifestyle become unhealthy. Since I began acupuncture a few months ago, I can actually eat a bunch of foods that I haven’t been able to eat in years! After eating a spinach salad for the first time in years, I was pretty stoked and began experimenting with ‘bad foods’. So far, I haven’t found anything that I can’t eat. It’s awesome! That alone makes being stuck with tiny needles so worth it

Image source: Far Fetched Imports

Not only has acupuncture helped with aches and pains, but it has also helped with headaches, food intolerances and stomach issues, sleep, energy level and many other things. And it’s really not so bad with all the needles. I’ll admit that I still don’t fully relax when I’m face up with needles in my arms, feet and face, but it’s not bad and it really doesn’t hurt. If that is the thing holding you back from trying out acupuncture, give it a shot. The benefits will most likely far outweigh the fears of having a few needles poked in. My acupuncturist has been absolutely amazing when working with me and what I feel comfortable with. If I’m not feeling comfortable enough to go face up that day, then we’ll just stick with my back. Acupuncture should be relaxing and calming, not stressful, so keep that in mind. I’ve only ever been to one acupuncturist before, but I strongly believe that the acupuncturist also really affects the outcome of the treatments. I feel incredibly comfortable with my acupuncturist, so I have no problems being open and trusting with her. If she suggests something, odds are that I’ll agree to give it a try, because I trust her. If I had someone who wasn’t as personable, I probably wouldn’t have lasted as long. I’m even excited to go to acupuncture! That is definitely not something I would have ever expected.

Thanks to my amazing acupuncturist and acupuncture itself, I’m feeling the best I’ve felt in years. Have you ever thought about going to acupuncture? It might be worth looking into, as the areas that it can help are pretty vast!

When I replaced a dresser in my room and the new one had one extra drawer, I decided to make use of the added space by creating a jewellery drawer! My first challenge was set-up; how best to store my jewelry most efficiently as I didn’t want a single layer of jewelry in the bottom of the drawer (it is a deep, deep drawer).

I searched online and found some great ideas, but most were part of pre-built closet systems, or required completely custom-built furniture. I considered modifying the structure of my drawer, but Ikea furniture is notorious for not standing up to customization well (I have made this mistake before). So instead I decided to put some sliding shelves inside the drawer, and I bought some jewelry trays to organize my items in the same style of a jewelry store (little compartments in maroon velvet). The jewelry is organized, each item is visible, and it feels classy

Brimnes dresser as Ikea intended.

For this project, I modified a new Ikea Brimnes 4-drawer dresser. This dresser comes with three drawers with solid wood fronts and one with a frosted glass front, which is meant as the top drawer. Because the jewelry drawer will be the top drawer, I put the glass-front drawer at the bottom instead. I didn’t want it to be as clear as it was, so I painted the back of the glass white to make it more opaque. This is optional.

You will need:

• Ikea Brimnes dresser, already assembled
• 4 dowels: 27.5-inches long – I used 3/4-inch square dowels
• 2 shelves: 14.25 x 8.25-inch cut plywood – I used 1/4-inch cedar
• 8 x 1.25-inch screws
• white paint
• paint brush
• glue
• jewelry organizer trays, such as these from Bed Bath & Beyond
• paper towels for paint clean-ups
• electric drill
• screwdriver

* Measurements are for the Brimnes dresser specifically, adjust accordingly for other designs.

Here are the steps:

1. Assemble the dresser according to Ikea instructions. Keep aside one of the wood-fronted drawers and put the other three into the dresser.
2. Measure the inside length of the drawer. This will be the length of the dowels that our shelves sit on.
3. Measure the inside width of the drawer. This will be the length of each of the two shelves that will sit inside the drawer, on the dowels.
4. Measure the width of the jewelry organizer. This will be the width of each of the two shelves. (For all these measurements, refer to the diagram to understand better what I’m talking about).
5. Measure where you want the shelves to sit. For this dresser, the total height is available is 8.5 inches, so I put my two shelves at 2.75 and 5.5 inches up from the bottom. Mark these heights at the left and right of the front and back of the long inside walls, approximately where you will be attaching the dowels.
6. Paint the dowels with two coats of white paint. Paint the edges of the shelves white so that any bit that may be visible in the end product will be covered. I only did a rough single coat around the edges.
7. Drill holes in the dowel approximately 3/4-inch from each end of each dowel.
8. (If your jewelry trays are large, you will have to add the bottom layer before adding the first set of dowels, and likewise for the middle layer).
9. Attach the first pair of dowels to the inside of the dresser. For me, this was the hardest part. The Ikea dresser was surprisingly hard and I had to use the drill to start the holes, without accidentally going through to the other side.
10. Lay one of the shelves on the dowels. This is important. I added the next set of dowels before doing this and then realized I couldn’t get the bottom shelf on. I had to take the top set of dowels off, add the shelf, and then add the dowels back. Oops.
11. Add the last set of dowels and the final shelf.
12. Lay the jewelry trays onto the bottom of the dresser. I didn’t glue these ones but you could. Glue the trays on the two shelves, so that they do not slide off and shift around.

I also replaced the Ikea handles on the dresser with nicer metal ones. I also had to trim a necklace-sized jewelry tray because I didn’t think to put it on the bottom of the drawer until after I had added all of the dowels (see #8 above).

All in all I’m really happy with how this turned out. All of my jewelry is visible so I won’t forget what I have, and it looks almost like a jewelry store display. My husband, who was a carpenter and is pretty sceptical about my ability to construct anything, was impressed enough to text me twice today about how good it looked. Score one for the amateur DIY’er!

The four dowels, plus painted the glass drawer

The two shelves

Bottom dowel in place

Both sets of dowels installed, with shelves.

Square and rectangle display trays

Jewelry drawer in action.

My skirt

I’m loving this cute little skirt trend! These little A-line skirts are called skater skirts. At first I thought that was referencing skate boarders, but I’ve since found out that it’s in reference to figure skaters. Specifically, the flouncy little skirts that are usually part of a figure skater’s outfit.

I bought one of these skirts from the Gap a few months ago but have only managed to wear it once. I’m not much of a skirt person, which was part of the reason I bought this thing – to encourage some new fashion choices. I also sprained my ankle in November which led to a few months of wearing sneakers at all times – this does not make outfit planning easy.

My skirt is grey, and for the one outfit I made with it, I paired it with tights, black boots, and a Breton-striped t-shirt. It’s awesome because it has pockets, so it makes it really easy to wear.

Here are some outfit options that I found on Pinterest that I’m hoping encourage me to wear this sweet little skirt more often:

The most perfect skirt ever. Beautiful. Via Atlantic-Pacific.

Great basic piece, nice styling. Via always reliable Kendi Everyday.

Another great basic piece with a colourful sweater, found on the Lauren Conrad website (not sure of original source).

And for a few different style options…

Different styling options, via No Sin mi Visa.

How would you wear this skirt coming into Spring?

Gone are the days where everyone has actual conversations…face to face. You can go out to restaurants and look around at all the other diners and hardly see faces that are looking at each other. Why can’t people have a good old-fashioned meal out, where they actually discuss something that is happening in their life? Walking down the street is now hazardous as you never know if someone will forget to look up from their phone before walking into you.  But on the other hand, technology allows us to keep in contact with friends and family who might not live near you. I have friends scattered throughout the world and love that when people post pictures or updates of what they are doing wherever they are, you don’t feel as though there is a continent separating you. Camera phones allow us to instantly upload a picture of what we are currently seeing and share it with whoever we want. That is pretty darn amazing, if you ask me.

When I travelled to Europe in grade 11, I emailed with my family back home, but email wasn’t used as it currently is, so it wasn’t as frequent. It was great to be able to get quick responses back, especially compared to if I were to mail letters home (I actually made it home before the postcard I had sent arrived!). When I was in Europe again a few years ago, it was amazing to be able to text J and tell him about what I was seeing. It’s definitely not the same as being there with the other person, but it allows you to be connected more. But I also like the idea of being off the technology grid for a bit and getting back to basics. All the experiences you have, you can share when you are home, and it allows you to focus more on what you are currently experiencing. It is soothing to know that you aren’t connected 24/7 to the world.

I’m straddling the lines of new world versus old world and I like to think that I can live happily that way.  J is a mobile tech reviewer, so his life is technology. He eats and breathes mobile tech, so if he isn’t testing out a new device or product, he is trying out games and apps. We go out, and he is focused on technology. I don’t blame him though. This is his passion. In a world where things change in the blink of an eye, you have to stay connected and current on the happenings of the tech world. For him, being disconnected from the world wouldn’t have the same effect as it would for me.

Are you someone who straddles the old/new world line or are you firmly planted on one side?

The same can be said for my finances. So many times I will wonder where all my money went and I feel I am denied things, such as new clothes.  One day I realized that I do have extra money, it’s just that I had been spending it on small little daily things and those little things were starting to add up.

Some of the little things would be going for coffees or buying name branded products. It wasn’t until I did the math one day and I realized, if I kept buying my favourite coffee drink (a decaf soy latte) a couple times during the week, I can easily spend over $500 a year!

When I did this calculation, I was horrified! How could I spend so much money on a drink out every year? Make that over two years and I would be spending over $1000 on coffee out!  Now, I don’t want to deny myself going out with a friend for a social occasion, because I think going out and spending time with your friends is really important and crucial. So, now when I go out with a friend, I usually get a tea or drip coffee; basically I opt for a cheaper drink.

Another thing I do is I compare the prices of household products. When buying something like ibuprofen, I really don’t see the difference in buying the less know brand name or Pharmasave brand in order to save money. Again, I take the difference in the two products, and figure out how much money I would save over the year and it becomes a no-brainer.

Having said all the above, there are some products that are environmentally friendly and cost more but I am willing to pay the extra money because saving the environment is important to me. My beauty products are also a bit more expensive because they are natural: I see taking care of myself as an investment and will not budge in that department.

So, these are the little things I am doing to cleanse my finances. Do you have any more tips on how to save some money?

When I found baby kale at the local market this past weekend I set out to create a recipe that incorporated this delicious and healthy green – but was simple enough that perhaps even my mom will give it another chance.

Ingredients:
1 large Rutabaga chopped
1 Onion chopped
3-5 cloves garlic depending on your flavour preference
1 serrano pepper diced finely
1 can white beans (white kidney or cannellini)
6 cups stock (vegetable or chicken)
3 cups baby Kale
Olive oil
salt and pepper to taste

1.    Combine the rutabaga and onion in a bowl, add 1-2 cloves crushed garlic and drizzle with enough olive oil to coat thoroughly.  Spread out on a cookie sheet and bake in a 325 oven for 40 mins; remove after 15-20 mins and flip over to ensure even cooking.
2.    In a large stockpot over medium heat, combine 2 tablespoons olive oil, diced serrano pepper, 2 cloves crushed garlic with rinsed white beans stir for 10 mins, turn to medium low heat.
3.    Remove rutabaga and onions from oven and add into beans mixture in stockpot.
4.    Add 6 cups stock, bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer for 25 mins (poke rutabaga with a fork to ensure cooked)
5.    With an immersion blender blitz soup til smooth.
6.    Roughly chop baby kale and add to soup, stir thoroughly, simmer for 10-15 minutes until kale is cooked completely but not mushy.

Serve with a drizzle of olive oil, grated parmesan cheese or as is!

The first step in making a vision board is knowing what you want.  That sounds easy, but when faced with that question, it’s actually really tough. As we go through life, we definitely get a sense of what we do NOT want, but sometimes it hard to pin down what we DO want. What I have learned over the year studying the teachings of Abraham is that no matter what you want or seek, be it a material object or a better bodily condition, we want these things because we believe that we will feel better in the having of it.  So, what we really want out of life is conditions or circumstances that will make us feel good.

Once you know what you want, find images/pictures that represent what you are seeking and that make you feel good when you look at them.  Take those images and glue or paste them on a board or piece of paper. On my board, I have images and words that represent the house, career, bodily condition, relationships, material objects and travel experiences I want to manifest in my life.

Another thing, don’t worry if your goals change over time; I constantly add and take things off my board. The goal is to have images that make you feel good when you look at them; if they stop making you feel good or if you want to add something, go for it!

The last time I made a vision board, my husband and I were in the process of looking for a new place to live because our current apartment had been sold. After living in so many run down places, we had developed quite the list of criteria for our new place. I put pictures of all the criteria for the apartment we were seeking on my vision board, such as nice hardwood floors, on the top floor of a building, balcony, nice view and I even had a picture of a place with a skylight. A skylight was not on our list, but I had it up there anyways.

Once we starting to look at places, we got nervous because they were all horrible and we thought we were going to have to settle on a subpar place.  My husband said he saw a place advertised in a part of town that I did not want to live in. It was a two bedroom though and reasonably priced. When we got to the place, I could not believe how great it was. The apartment satisfied everything on our list: the two bedrooms, beautiful hardwood floors, a view of the ocean, ample light, very quiet location, in our price range and would you believe it, there was a skylight in the kitchen!

Furthermore, a friend of mine told me about your vision box; yes, vision box! She bought this box that says ‘Paris’ on it while on vacation there. When she brought it home and starting putting in objects that she would like to manifest, her sister called her that night to ask if she wanted to do a home exchange to Paris!

After manifesting our perfect apartment and hearing my friend’s story, I am starting to believe in the power of vision boards. Do you have one? Are you thinking about making one?

Stay Positive

Nobody likes a Debbie Downer. If your posts/tweets are all about how your life sucks, your boss is mean, or you feel sooooo fat, people will stop caring. If you don’t care what they think, well mission accomplished. However, your Facebook feed will get mighty barren when everyone un-friends you.

The Golden Rule

No, I’m not talking about this one. I’m talking about treating others the way you want to be treated. If you want friendly interactions, you can’t put out bad vibes, like posting mean comments, whether on Facebook, Twitter, or any other platform. People are especially brutal on YouTube, have you noticed?! Lighten up haters, if you don’t like something just ignore it.

Beware Sarcasm

People can’t read sarcasm online, and they will not assume you are being sarcastic just because something comes out strangely. They will assume you are just strange. Or mean. I’m pretty sure you don’t want to be considered strange or mean. Unless you do, in which case go right ahead (that was sarcasm).

Don’t Engage

Specifically, I mean don’t engage in online bickering. If someone writes something mean or tries to get into a fight with you online, it’s a real fight. It may not be face to face but it’s out there for the world to see, and it counts against your reputation. The best way is to just ignore the negativity. You will look like the better person, which is like winning the fight anyway.

Don’t Flood the Feed

This is especially relevant on Pinterest and Twitter – try not to push too much content out there all at once. Followers will have to weed through all your content to move on to anyone else’s, which will just be annoying for them. I follow a few people like this on Pinterest and you can tell their motto is “quantity over quality”. If they didn’t actually pin some good pins more often than not, I’d unfollow them.

Those are the major points that come to mind for me. Got any others?

Lately I’ve wanted to thoroughly clean my house and get rid of clutter.  Now, I don’t have a messy house and I do clean it often, but, I do have some cupboards, closets, drawers and old furniture that needs to be organized or taken away.

Below I have listed ideas and motivation tips I have been using to finally get my house in order:

1. You don’t have to do it all in one day. I used to think that if I wanted to clean out cupboards in my kitchen, I had to do them all in one day and just the thought of having such a taunting task, I wouldn’t even get started.
2. Spread the tasks out over a period of time. As mentioned in the above point, you don’t have to do everything in one day. Maybe make a list of the one task you would like to get done each day.
3. Time one of your tasks. Once you get started cleaning or working on your tasks, time yourself doing it; you would not believe how quick one task can be. I used to believe that cleaning one cupboard was going to be this chore that was going to last for hours and it would kill my motivation to start. I timed myself cleaning out a drawer and it only took me fifteen minutes to do and I was so amazed and so happy with the final result.
4. Set yourself up for success.  When tackling one of your cleaning tasks, make sure you set it up to go smoothly and efficiently. When I was cleaning out one of my drawers, I set up bags for different types of recycling beside me and it made the task so much quicker; I didn’t waste time getting up to throw away garbage or to recycle.
5. Store your thrift store items out of sight. When going through old household items to donate, I put them all in a corner by the backdoor and out of sight. Also, schedule a day that you can take all your stuff away.  Remember, if you do it when you are going out anyways, it will really not take that much time out of your day.
6. Give your partner time to adjust to the re-organized space.  If you have a partner and you have had a certain routine for a long time, don’t get angry if they take some time to adjust. Remember, you have been doing things a certain way for a long time and hopefully soon they will get the hint and will keep the same order you do.
7. Get creative. While cleaning out the office, I realized our see-through plastic bins looked so messy; I hated that you can see right through into what was is in the drawers. So, thinking of the clean looking cabinets that IKEA sells, I came up with an idea to make it look cleaner. I took pieces of card stock (all the same colour or you could add flair and use patterned paper) and cut them out to slide into the front of each drawer. Now the see-through bins look so much better.
8. Take a few minutes to tidy every week. Now that you have such pristine and beautiful cupboards, drawers or closets, take a second to make sure they stay that way.
9. Be mindful of when you fall back into your old habits.  I make an effort to catch myself when I blindly start stuffing things into drawers. It may take a little bit, but, you can always change your old habits.

Storage bins inspired by IKEA

Drawer that only took 15 minutes to clean out

So, this is how I am stay motivated in order to thoroughly clean my house. How do you keep your house in order?

Did you know that your makeup has a lifespan? I didn’t! I knew enough not to use makeup that is 10 years old or anything, but I had no clue that your makeup should be tossed much, much sooner than that. Now, perhaps this is common knowledge, but did you know that some products even have a handy dandy symbol that tells you how long you should keep the product before tossing it? If you answered NO, then I’m with ya! If you answered YES, then please excuse me for having a not-so-bright moment. I must admit that I’ve seen the symbol on products before, which is called the Period After Opening (PAO) symbol, but honestly had no idea that it pertained to the life of the product. I thought the PAO was perhaps a recycle symbol or something. Ooops. I’m smart, sometimes, I swear!

Anyways, enough about my not-so-smart moment and let’s get back to the shelf life for cosmetics. While some products may last a long time, eye products are some with the shortest life span due to the increased microbial exposure, which in turn can lead to eye infections and sty’s. If you’ve ever seen a sty, it’s pretty good motivation to keep your eyes free of them. And who wants an eye infection? I don’t know about you, but my eyes are my favourite facial feature and I like to keep them happy. In addition to increasing your risk of eye infections, mascara actually goes on a lot easier – aka not clumpy- when it is fresh (thanks Robyn for that handy info!).

Following my own advice (as well as the wise words of Steve Jobs) I often take time for reflection, to think about what I love, what makes me happy, what I’m missing, and what I want to change.

I’ve finally accepted that my current job will never be ready to incorporate my creative aspirations and that’s okay.  My current work is not my entire world, and I should not let it determine my overall level of happiness in life -this is just one chapter, eventually another will begin.

To find a balance and satisfy my heart in this moment, in the Now, I have been looking more closely at how I spend my free time since that’s something I can influence more easily.  I am injecting creativity into my free time as often as I am inspired to.  So far this has meant anything from all types of writing (journaling, blogging and starting to write a book); cooking new recipes, experimenting with new ingredients; and taking time to paint.  A friend is interested in teaming up with me to make video clips and coordinating film shoots, something I’ve done with him in the past and have decided I would like to do again.

Already with these little changes, my overall satisfaction in life has increased.  I’m finding myself less bothered when things don’t go my way at work, and I’m looking more and more forward to my creative pursuits.  These are all (so far) free things that are making a whole lot of difference to my day to day well -being and satisfaction in life, and I’m not sure why I didn’t think to do it sooner.

Where these changes will lead I have absolutely no idea, and I’m okay with that.  As Steve Jobs said, it’s easy to connect the dots when looking back, not so much when looking forward.  So just go with your heart and trust that it will all work out.

Image Source: CanadianFinanceBlog.com

In addition to making it easier to submit your taxes online by removing the requirement of a NETFILE access code, the CRA has also created a page on their website that provides useful information for your tax return preparation.

The CRA also has a list available of all certified software programs that you can use to prepare your refund. I’ve been using various online software programs the last few years to prepare my taxes and they are very useful. If you usually have someone else prepare your taxes, but are interested in doing it yourself this year, I highly recommend you check out the various programs available that help cut through all the excess information, and help to fill out all the applicable lines that you need. If you make under a certain amount (depending on the program, up to $30,000), then you can prepare and submit your tax return for FREE! If you do make over that amount, then you are still able to create your return for free and pay once you are ready to submit. The price is usually very reasonable, especially for all the helpful hints and tips that are provided with the software. There are a few software programs that are completely free, regardless of your income, so you can say goodbye to paying to file your taxes, if you want.

One of the added benefits to filing your tax return online this year is that, according to the CRA, it takes an average of 2 weeks for your return to be processed, compared to 4-6 weeks, if you are to send in a paper version of your return. If you are expecting a tax refund, then I’m sure 2 weeks sounds much better than 4-6 weeks!Whether you plan to file your taxes online or by paper, don’t forget the deadline to file for individuals is April 30, 2013. That is just under 8 weeks away, so if you are someone who is known to procrastinate and file late, set aside a few hours on the weekend and get those taxes filed. You don’t want to risk losing any of your refund to your late fees!

For a bunch of helpful tips regarding filing your taxes, including what tax credits you might be able to take advantage of, check out this post by Canadian financial bloggers, Boomer & Echo. Have you filed online before? Do you have any pointers or notes for newbies?

Nailed it!

This week I want to spotlight a cookbook I love – Super Natural Cooking by Heidi Swanson. Alana mentioned it in her post a few days ago. Heidi writes the vegetarian blog 101 Cookbooks, and this book is a collection of recipes from the site. The book was published in 2007 and contains a good collection of recipes, as well as sections like “Build a Natural Foods Pantry”, “Cook by Color”, and “Know Your Superfoods”.

Last week Johnny and I were trying to eat more veggies, but not in the same old way (stir-fry and salad). I found a recipe for beans and Swiss chard. Beans don’t really count as veggies, but there’s a whole bundle of Swiss chard that wilts down so you get a lot of bang for your buck, greens-wise.

Giant Crusty & Creamy White Beans

• 1/2 pound (~1.5 cups dried) medium or large dried white beans, cooked (I used Cannelini and would use bigger beans if I could find any)*
• 3 T butter, olive oil, or a mix of both
• salt
• 1 onion, coarsely chopped
• 4 cloves garlic, chopped
• 6 or 7 leaves Swiss chard (ie: 1 bunch), leaves cut into wide ribbons
• pepper
• olive oil for drizzling
• grated Parmesan cheese, for topping

Steps:

1. Heat butter or oil over medium-high heat in the widest skillet you have.
2. Add beans to the hot pan in a single layer. Let them sit long enough on the first side to get golden-brown and slightly crunchy, about 3-4 minutes.
3. Salt to taste, then add the onion and garlic. Cook for 1-2 minutes, until the onion softens.
4. Stir in the chard and cook until just beginning to wilt.
5. Remove from heat, season with salt and pepper, drizzle with olive oil, and dust with grated Parmesan cheese.
6. EAT!

So often in life it seems like people go out of their way to use complicated or formal language and it can sometimes cause people to feel left out.  I try to use metaphors that are simple, easy to understand, and inject some humour into things. It’s one of the tactics I use to relate to others and I like to think it makes people more comfortable talking with me.  Asking questions is how we all learn, and if people feel comfortable, I believe they are more likely to ask questions.

Last week time was running out on a project.  Multiple people from multiple organizations each needed to send me final documents and tensions were running high.  Some people were having a challenging time getting approval to send me final docs and therefore were calling to apologize, so I tossed out this metaphor: Don’t worry, the party hasn’t started yet – people are lined up but I’m pretty sure the band is still warming up!

Here are some of my favourite metaphors for relationships:

A bad relationship can be like a mud puddle; once you’ve been down playing in the mud for a while it’s easy to lose perspective.  People look down on you, and the idea of getting up and showered off can seem like an immense and exhausting task. <I feel like this tiny concept could be turned into an entire novel!>

Finding a good guy is like finding the perfect pair of shoes.  Some pairs look good but the colour or style just doesn’t mesh with anything else in your wardrobe. Sometimes a pair looks good, fits great but after a while of wearing them they (for some unknown reason) get uncomfortable!  It’s a balancing act to find a pair that is both comfortable, works well with everything else you have and, here comes the difficult question, will they last!  Sometimes you just don’t know whether this pair will work out – you just need to trust and see how it goes.

Got any cute or funny metaphors you find yourself using in day to day life?

In my post, I made a promise to no longer fuss and worry about having cellulite. After looking in the mirror and telling myself I look good, I am happy to report I am in a much better place with my body image.  Last summer was the FIRST time I wore a bikini at a public beach and did not care what anyone else thought. I still have cellulite, but, I keep myself in great shape and eat well, which in turns makes me feel good about myself and body.

At times I do wish I was smaller. I remember how it felt being really skinny when I was 19 years of age; all clothes fit well and I always felt comfortable.  Being a bit curvier and pear-shaped can sometimes make me feel a little uncomfortable and I have to be careful what styles I wear. Not all styles work for my body; even though I have a really small waist, I don’t not have small hips or butt!

So, remembering how wonderful it felt being skinny, I have been wondering why I have self-sabotaged any attempt to lose weight.  Is it a form of protection? Do I think I won’t feel safe if I lose weight? Do I not want to stand out? I am just starting to realize that I have been guilty of sabotaging any weight loss because if I change, I will stand out, people will notice and a part of me doesn’t want to stand out; it doesn’t feel safe.  And another part of me sabotages any effort to lose weight because I should really be happy and satisfied with where I am at.  I am healthy, look just fine and really, I don’t need to lose any weight.

In an effort to develop an even better relationship to my body, I am being mindful of all the wonderful things my body does for me. My heart beats without me asking, I have strong muscles, am able to move around easily, run, row, hike, do yoga and go for bike rides. All these years I have been so hard on my body, when it turn, it has and continues to do so many wonderful things for me.

Hiking the Perley Rock Trail in the Rockies

So, this year will be dedicated to appreciating every wonderful thing my body does for me. I will give up trying to lose weight and instead, will make choices that are as good to my body as possible.

What is your relationship to your body like?

Photo Credits (L-R): Moorish Tile; Moroccan Trellis Rug; Moroccan Lantern; Moroccan Vase; Moroccan Vase; Red Moroccan Lantern; Red Dining Room

Ok, enough about my current love affair with everything that is Morocco, I’ll get back to the soup. You must try it, if you like peanuts and sweet potato (my hubby does not, so I get to keep all the leftovers for myself!). It makes quite a good sized batch – I’d say about 6-8 servings, so it’s great at providing lots of leftovers for lunch or dinner. Check it out and let me know what you think.

Oh and my question of the day is – if you could decorate your home or a space in the style of another culture or country, what would you choose?

African Sweet Potato Peanut Soup

adapted from AllRecipes

What You Need:

• 1 tbsp oil, olive or vegetable
• 1 large onion, diced
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• 2 tsp ginger, minced
• 1 1/2 tsp ground cumin
• 1 1/2 tsp ground coriander
• 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
• 1 pinch ground cloves
• 3 medium tomatoes, diced
• 1 1/2 – 2 lbs sweet potatoes, peeled and diced (I actually used yams)
• 1-2 carrots, peeled and chopped
• 4 1/2 – 5 cups water
• 1 tsp salt
• 1/4 cup unsalted, dry-roasted peanuts, chopped
• 1 pinch cayenne pepper
• 2 -3 tbsp creamy peanut butter

 What To Do:

1. Prep all veggies and spices prior to starting the cooking. This is called mise-en-place in cooking. Don’t overlook this step.
2. Heat oil in a large pot (I used a medium stockpot) over medium heat. Add the onion and saute 10 minutes, until lightly browned.
3. Add in the garlic, ginger, cumin, coriander, cinnamon and cloves.
4. Next, add the tomatoes, sweet potatoes (or yams) and carrot to the pot and cook for about 5 minutes, stirring frequently.
5. Add the water to pot so that it covers by approximately 1-2 inches (this is a creamy soup, so you don’t want too much extra liquid). Bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer for 30 minutes.
6. Remove from heat and add the chopped peanuts.
7. Using an immersion blender (or food processor/blender), blend the soup and peanuts, until almost smooth.
8. Add the cayenne pepper and return the pot to medium heat.
9. Whisk in the peanut butter and cook until bubbling lightly. Then enjoy!

I lied.

Okay lying sounds like too strong of a word – I exaggerated.  Not that I thought myself incapable of retaining details (ask me to quote just about anything from the TV show Friends, music trivia, etc).  But I have never been one to gloat about 100% accuracy and have avoided being responsible for tiny details.  This avoidance technique netted me a reputation for only doing the ‘fun stuff’; so when I decided I wanted my career to go somewhere, I knew I would need to address weak skill areas and really focus.

Not being one to do anything halfway – I dove into the legal/political world of my organization.  I figured what better way to stop being known as someone who does only the ‘fun stuff’ than by exploring the polar opposite.

Is my job fun?  No.  Well I suppose that depends on your definition of fun.  I’m now responsible for the teeny tiny details, and expected to achieve 100% accuracy 100% of the time (Sick days? Holidays? Who has time for those?).  A single day sometimes feels like an eternity.  Sure it can get busy and exciting, and things are always changing and evolving in an effort to stay current and on top of things.  But after 5 long days, expending an inordinate amount of energy doing my best to not make any mistakes, being hyper-aware of every single detail; analyzing, planning, anticipating and executing – by Friday, I’m exhausted.

I’ve convinced myself that Friday isn’t actually part of the ‘weekend’ and after work I go home and off the grid, hiding away from the world.  To enjoy the ‘real weekend’ (Saturday and Sunday), I avoid making plans with people I find erratic, overly excited, or just generally draining (or people who insist on talking to me about my job or organization!)  I spend time with my family and close friends who I can relax with and simply be myself around.  The more time I spend with friends and family, the more I’m able to distance myself from the annoyance of focusing or worrying about the small details that make up my workday.

If that’s not ridiculous enough, my job is turning me into a control freak, super inflexible and intolerant of other people’s lack of attention to detail (how’s THAT for irony).  My parents joke that I’m too set in my ways, focused on controlling the world around me and a little obsessive about the details; and this job might be making it worse.

So after a year and a half in this environment, why am I still here?  (I don’t really know.)  But optimistically I hope that my efforts have and will make a difference in the grand scheme of things.  I’m telling myself that my current detour from ’blue sky thinking’ to ‘detail-oriented-efficionado’ will change the world around me.  Succeed – or die trying!

My first suggestion was to rent out space in your home, either with a roommate, rented suite, or as home-stay accommodation  We converted our third-floor attic bedroom into a home-stay suite with bedroom, sitting room, and private bathroom, and we get $900/month for it! Or at least we did – our student just left and we haven’t found a new tenant yet, but I’m pretty confident that we can find someone soon. We may have to drop the price, $900 is on the high side (but not the highest) for home-stay fees in Victoria.

My second suggestion was to get a raise at work; I did that too! Haha, two for two so far! Granted, everyone at work gets at least a cost of living raise every year, but hey, I’m taking this win

My next suggestion was to get a part-time job, or start freelancing if you have a skill that lends itself to that. I’m a web developer, so that’s pretty much perfect for freelancing. However, my drive and enthusiasm is not. I’ve been pretty lazy so far about finding freelance work, but I’m re-committing myself to this starting now, since the potential for thousands of extra dollars per month is pretty appealing.

Have I got a trunk for you…

Next I suggested selling your stuff. We’re doing pretty well here – we’ve sold some clothes, J sold some of his tools, and we sold some antique trunks that have been sitting in the garage for years (ps – we still have two more if anyone wants an antique trunk ). We don’t make much money on this kind of thing, so it’s definitely not worth much effort, but it’s worth a little effort for some extra coffee money.

My final suggestion was to sell your car. We accomplished this before I wrote this post – we downsized from two vehicles to one. It has taken a bit of getting used to, having to plan our car usage around each other’s schedules, but it was worth it for the extra $5000.

So that’s where I’m at now in 2013. All in all I’m pretty happy with my progress, but I’ve realized I need to step it up in terms of freelancing, to bring in some extra cash. If I make enough we could even stop taking on home-stay students! Something to work for…

How are you doing financially? Is it time for your own financial check-in?

xo Katie

So, I went on my husband’s favourite cooking blog, 101 Cookbooks, and I found an artichoke dip recipe that sounded interesting:

Baked Artichoke Dip

Ingredients:

• 2 (14-ounce) cans water-packed artichokes, well drained
• 4 ounces organic silken tofu
• 3 large cloves garlic
• 1/3 cup Parmesan cheese, freshly grated
• 2/3 cup plain (or Greek) yogurt
• 1/4 teaspoon fine grain sea salt, or more to taste
• pinch of cayenne pepper
• more Parmesan to sprinkle on top

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 350F degrees. In a blender or food processor puree the artichokes, tofu, and garlic. In a separate medium bowl whisk together the parmesan cheese, yogurt, salt, and cayenne. Stir in the artichoke puree and pour mixture into a medium-sized baking dish (or multiple smaller dishes). Sprinkle the top with more Parmesan. Bake uncovered until heated through and the cheese on the top starts to brown, about 45 minutes.

Makes 2-3 cups of artichoke dip.

As I started to read the ingredients, I noticed that the recipe didn’t call for any cream and the parmesan cheese it did call for, I could easily substituted with pecorino cheese, which is from sheep’s milk and is much lower in lactose.

My only concern while compiling the listed ingredients was where I would find artichokes canned in water. Every time I have bought artichokes , they have been in vinegar. Before leaving for the store, I just assumed they would not have what I needed and that my dip would have a slight vinegar taste.  As I scanned the aisles of Thrify Foods, I was so happy to find  that there is such a thing as canned artichokes in water.

Once I had all the ingredients, I was amazed how easy it was to prepare this dip and equally amazed at how delicious it was. If you do make this dish, the suggested cooking time of 45 minutes was a little too long for my dip; 30 minutes seemed to do the trick.  Also, this dip pairs nicely with tortilla chips, especially the Fresh is Best brand.

The finished product paired with ‘Fresh is Best’ tortilla chips

I am absolutely in love with this dip because it has such a rich and creamy texture to it (because of the tofu and artichokes) but has such little lactose that I can enjoy it without any guilt or discomfort.

I only went to 2 schools growing up and I spent 10 years at my second school. My elementary/middle/high school was quite a small school and my graduating class consisted of only 22 students. Many of my classmates were with me for the majority of my time there, so I got the opportunity to grow with a consistent group of girls. While some of the friendships didn’t last long past graduation, some have remained in my life. We’re not as close as we once were, but when we hang out I have the most amazing time and become my ‘old’ self. I’m so grateful for the friendships that have lasted 16+ years.

Like Krysta mentioned in her post about making friends as an adult, it is difficult to find and get new friends once out of high school. I’m a bit of an introvert and tend to refer to myself a hermit (I like spending time at home with J and our dog), so the motivation to get out there can be difficult to find sometimes. I sometimes find it difficult to come up with topics of conversation with people that I don’t really know well, so I tend to steer away from conversations, which in turn steers me away from meeting people. When I met my hubby, I not only lucked out with him, but I also met a great group of girls. These women have been my core group of friends for the last 7 years and I am so happy that I met them. Without them, I wouldn’t have so many things in my life – one of which being this blog. The experiences that I have gained since being friends with these amazing ladies is priceless and I always look forward to our ‘girls trip’ weekends away. A group of us rent a house for a weekend and have an amazing, relaxing time where we get to get away from everything. It’s basically an adult version of slumber parties!

For me, I love having multiple sets of friends whom I have met at various stages of life because each one brings something new to your life. My childhood friends have been through so much with me. They were there when we were dorks growing up and going through so many firsts, including our first heartbreaks. They knew who I was growing up and have continued to grow with me over the years. I met my current main friends after high school and after I had escaped my naivitey of childhood. They have known the older me and helped me grow to an even better version of myself. While they didn’t know the ‘young’ me, our friendship has grown based on who we are now.

Over the years as I’ve grown, my friendships have evolved as well.  Some have grown stronger, others have faded out completely.  But in looking back and thinking back over the people I’ve known and the friendships I’ve had – I’m proud of the experiences we’ve shared together and the person I am today.  And I’m grateful for all the people I’ve known. In the wise words of Frank Ocean “we met for a reason, either you’re a blessing or a lesson”.

Although it had happened years ago, I was still in a rut and dating the wrong type of person.   The type of person who would never be in a place to give me what I needed, and who wasn’t even close to being in the same place in their life as I was.  I dated this person over and over again in different variations all with the same result (the definition of insanity).   I didn’t believe in true love anymore, and told myself it was a myth, a  fairy tale.

I don’t think we ever fully jump in to love like we do the first time we fall head over heels – feet first, eyes closed, heart open, trusting.  The fact that it hadn’t worked out previously had made me cynical that love would ever find me again (or that I would recognize it even if it did).  Suffice to say, something had to change, and I decided to actively force myself out of my rut and out of my comfort zone.

When I signed up, I don’t think I was really ready to find someone, but I did it anyways.  Online dating was scary, and I hated how uncomfortable I felt putting myself out there, being vulnerable.  Sitting across the table from people, answering questions about where I was at in life, all the while trying to guard my heart and keep it tucked safely from sight.  It took almost the entire year but slowly, it’s gotten easier.  At the end of the month my membership will expire and that’s okay, I’m proud of how much I’ve grown, in fact I’m surprised by it.

I won’t claim to be back to the girl I was before falling in the love the first time.  But I can finally say I remember her.  I remember the optimism that I once felt knowing that one day my prince would come.  I remember watching Disney movies and wondering what my happily ever after would look like and when it would begin.  I remember being a young and naïve girl who threw pennies in fountains, all the while wishing for a unicorn.  More than all of this, I now remember how much I want and deserve my fairy tale.

I’m sad to say that the key word in that previous sentence is ‘deserve.’  For much too long I’ve felt like I didn’t deserve happily ever after no matter how many friends and family members loved me and tried to remind me.  It was something I needed to remember on my own, to get to know my own heart again, and to love myself deeply and truly, first and always.

Have I found my prince?  Maybe.  Maybe he was right in front of my eyes all this time.  Maybe I was looking, but wasn’t truly seeing.

What I do know is, we all deserve our fairy tales and happily ever after.  So I’ve decided that when it comes to the music of true love, I’m going to start dancing, and trust that the music will come.

So, turns out the major reason he wasn’t moving his studying upstairs was there wasn’t enough light on the desk. This is like not buying pants because the legs are too long. Easily fixed. So I fixed it. I gave him my existing desk lamp, and bought myself a weird little desk lamp at the thrift store.

Exhibit A: The Ugly Duckling

If this desk lamp were a person, you’d say it had a nice personality. Lots of character. But not a pretty face. See exhibit A. It’s a sort of mottled brass colour with a fake feather (also “brass”) and something I think is supposed to be an ink well? I’m guessing the designer was going for a feather quill motif. It has a lamp shade made of faux-arbutus bark, sort of in an old-fashioned Native-style. It’s not a good-looking lamp. However I saw the potential in the lamp, mainly because I had my eye on a lamp whose base was metal shaped like a twig with two birds on the sides. Sounds horrible when I write it down but actually it’s awesome. It’s in a really good lamp store and it’s like $400, so trust me, it’s a good-looking lamp. When I saw this feather lamp I saw the potential to be a poor-girl’s twig-and-birds lamp. So I got to work.

The first thing I did was buy a new lamp shade in a crisp white to go with my soon-to-be-awesome lamp base. No more fake arbutus bark. Next I painted the base white. You need the right materials here since painting metal is tricky. I used a very adhesive primer, followed by a semi-gloss white acrylic paint. Both the primer and paint had been recommended to me by an expert when I was re-painting the tiles around my fireplace, so they are good for tricky surfaces like metal. I only had to use one coat of white paint since the primer was white as well, so it masked the horrible brass quickly.

Exhibit B: The Swan

The end result, exhibit B, is much nicer and sleeker and fits nicely with the other white décor in my office. I’m pretty proud of myself. And it only cost $15 for the lamp and $8.50 for the new shade, plus paint I already had. You can bow down to my thrifting prowess now. Go ahead, I won’t be embarrassed.

Here is a list of the materials needed to paint a metal lamp:

• High-adhesion primer, such as Bulls Eye 1-2-3
• Glossy white acrylic paint, such as Behr Interior/Exterior Hi-Gloss Enamel
• Paint brush – I used one with a 1″ flat head so I could get into the nooks and crannies
• drop cloth or old bed sheet (fold it once or twice so it’s thick, otherwise paint drops will soak through it)
• flat-head screw-driver to open paint cans
• stir-stick (or old spoon you don’t like) to stir paint
• paper towel

The swan in her natural habitat. She practically glows with pride.

First up, Revlon Colour Stay Ultimate Suede Lipstick in ‘Backstage #035′. I’m not a huge wearer of lipstick, but this has changed me. It really does STAY, and leaves your lips feeling moisturized (it has shea butter and aloe!). The last thing you want is to have that not-so-lovely lipstick print on your glass when you go out and this lipstick does just that. I found that all you need to do is quickly blot some of the excess with a tissue, and then you were good to go. I tried out the shade, along with 3 of my friends, and the great thing was that the colour was slightly different on all of us, but it also suited our different skin tones. This colour seems to be a great option for a hint of plum and long-lasting colour.

I know there have been times in my life where I have felt down and a bit antisocial and constantly turned down plans to hang out with friends. It wasn’t a refletion on how I felt about my friends, (I really liked these people), I just wasn’t up for being social at the time.  Which is why now when I see  friends going through difficult times and pulling away, I continue to support rather than judge their actions or impose more expectations on them. This philosophy is really helpful because it depersonalizes the situation and chalks it up to incompatibility of priorities at the time. It does not mean you are not friends or will not be close again; it just means that at this time, you are both in different places.

I didn’t initially feel this way though; I had a friend years ago that used to cancel plans with me all the time. I remember the very first time she went ahead and made other plans the same afternoon we had planned to go for lunch and how utterly upset I was. I called her the afternoon we planned to meet and she was out with another friend and couldn’t make our lunch date. She didn’t really apologize and didn’t seem to really care. I continued to make plans with her and she would continue to double book herself or cancel our plans…it got to be such a bad habit with her and it made me feel horrible.

After a long history of her doing this, I stopped making  plans with her and if she instigated plans, I would always take it with a grain of salt. I completely changed my expectations of her in order to protect my feelings. I knew that she cared about me, but, she could not figure out how to make me a priority. I realized years later that that is just who she is and surprisingly enough, once I changed my expectations, she became a closer friend to me. I think she could sense that I didn’t put in the effort anymore and it made her rise to the occasion.

So, what I have learned from this situation is that some friends may not hold the same values and morals that you do with regards to keeping plans. If you find yourself being consistantly hurt because a friend keeps cancelling on you,  it is important to make sure you are ok with how you want to proceed; do you want to have high expectations of this person and continue to be hurt or do you want to meet them where they are at and change your expectations?

Photo Credit Erik Rogers

Eight years ago, my best friend and I had just returned from our first trip to Europe.  During our two month escape I fell in love with Switzerland (the landscape, the food, the people, the cows…), and swore we would return to see the country in the winter (we had visited in summer).  Before we landed back here in British Columbia, we were already hatching plans for all of the amazing places in Europe we would go visit the following year.

Recently, one of my online dating matches started a conversation by saying he was planning a potential trip to Switzerland and wondered what I thought of the country.  (*I had listed it as part of my favorite places in the world to visit.)  After briefly sharing my impressions with this stranger I found myself reminiscing about the trip I took eight years back, which now seems like a lifetime ago.

Eight years ago I said next year.  I swore up and down that the following year I would save money, take time off and head back.  Since then, I’ve been to England, Mexico (multiple times), Utah, California and several Canadian provinces… But have yet to even google flights to Switzerland.

The funny thing is I haven’t felt like I was missing out by not having returned.  In the past eight years I’ve enjoyed the places I’ve visited, the people I’ve spent time with, and the things that I’ve done.  This random, out of the blue question from a stranger made me stop and think about the person I was eight years ago, and the things that I thought I would do.  Not having accomplished those things shouldn’t for one moment make me feel like a failure, but it took me a couple of days of soul searching to remember that.

It’s not always possible to do everything we would like.  As part of daily life we play a trade-off game of need and want to decide what’s worth saving our pennies for and what we might want to use our current precious pennies for right now.  It’s a constant game of juggling and prioritizing and can often be frustrating because there are plenty of times when exasperatedly we wish we didn’t have to choose and could simply do and have it all.

There aren’t enough hours in a day to accomplish everything we would like to (and sometimes we have the time but not the energy).  It’s not possible to see all the people we wish we could see, travel to the places we would like to go, buy the things we want…  Some will call this a first-world problem (FWP = a problem that is important to people who are fortunate enough not have to worry about the basic needs of life: food, clothes, shelter etc), and those people would be right.

If we keep telling ourselves that happiness is defined by the things we don’t do, don’t have, don’t receive, then how likely is it that we’re appreciating the things we have, the people we see, the things we accomplish or the places we go.

It’s funny that a stranger can remind us of the importance of being happy with what we have and who we are, but there it is!  Thank you random online dating stranger!

Potato and Cheese Soup

What You Need:

• 1 medium onion, diced
• 2 tbsp butter
• 3-4 medium carrots, peeled and chopped
• 3-4 medium potatoes, peeled or chopped
• 2 tsp dried rosemary (or 1 fresh sprig, finely chopped)
• 1-2 pints of water
• 1/2 block cream cheese (low-fat or 97% fat-free works wonderfully)
• 1 cup grated cheddar cheese
• salt & pepper, to taste

What To Do:

1. In a large pot saute the onions in butter until translucent and just beginning to caramelize.
2. Add carrots, potatoes and rosemary; saute for 5 minutes.
3. Add water to cover veggies by about an inch or so; bring to a rolling boil, then reduce to a simmer.
4. Simmer until soft, approx 10 minutes.
5. Blend soup using an immersion blender (regular blenders or food processors also work). Careful, it’s going to be hot so you might want to let it cool a bit if you aren’t starving.
6. If you removed the soup from the pot, return to the pot.
7. Add cheeses and stir until completely melted.
8. If the soup is too thick, add some milk (I’ve never done so, but I like quite thick and creamy soup).
9. Add salt and pepper to taste, then enjoy!

This soup goes wonderfully with warm bread (rosemary pan bread is the best!).

Do you have a favourite soup that you like to whip up on cold, dreary evenings? I’m always looking for new recipes to spice up our soup rotation, so share away!

This guy knows how to party.

So I realized when I wrote the title for my previous post “I’m almost a real adult“, that some people may actually consider me a real adult already. I’m turning 32 years old in a few days. How the F did that happen?! I’m pretty sure I was awake for most of the time this aging happened, but I still feel like I just rolled out of university. To be fair, I took 7 years to complete my degree (no, it wasn’t some fancy law or doctor degree, it was just a normal Bachelors of Science). But yes, it was a more recently than many of my peers. Nonetheless (that’s a very adult word) I feel like each year passes more quickly than the last.

I’m not particularly upset about this, just startled. Like when you’re writing a test and are coasting along feeling pretty good about yourself, then look at the clock and realize you’ve got 5% of the time left to complete 25% of the exam. It’s a bit of a kick in the bum to realize that the time is gone and you’re not going to get it back.

Okay I guess I’d be a bit upset in the test scenario, but I’m not upset in the life scenario. Each year brings new and wonderful developments. I don’t think I can name a best year ever, since every year seems to be awesome in its own way. I really don’t think I could name the best year. Even if I tried…

24. That was a killer year. I was still young, but feeling more and more confident about myself, and I could still party like a rock star when called upon. It was definitely the best year

Music has been important to me throughout my life; it carries me through struggles and helps to frame milestones and transitions.  I was in high school during the grunge era and many of the alternative bands I listened to were full of angst and their powerful songs were intoxicating. These artists and their music helped me through difficult teenage years; I felt like someone really understood what I was going through and it made me feel powerful.

While I was discovering all these amazing bands with my friends, I was at the same time heavily influenced by my friend’s opinions on what music was cool and what was not. I kept some of my other favourite artists and songs secret from them for fear of ridicule; it is something that I still do today! For example, all through high school I was a closet Rod Stewart fan; I absolutely loved him…’Who else is going to bring you a broken arrow?’- ahhh, makes me swoon!

Now fast forward 18 years later and yes, I still listen to a lot of alternative bands. It’s funny because I automatically classify those bands as cool and acceptable. But any other bands that are not in that category, I feel like I am back in high school and I have to hide that I like them or I have to justify why I like them.

I think it is time for me to realize that my tastes in music and my relationship to it has changed because I have changed. The majority of the music I used to listen to helped me express and make sense of intense feelings and emotions. Now that I am getting older and mellowing out, I notice that I now need my music to reflect my happiness and make me feel light, which is probably why my tastes are so varied.

Has your music tastes changed over the years?

by Katrina E. Bennett ~guest blogger

I did it! I made a bed – all by myself. Well, ok – my boyfriend helped a little bit. Here’s how (and why!).

We live in the Far North, specifically, Alaska. One of the very few downsides about living in a northern community is the availability of large items such as beds and bed frames. I had been looking for a year for a bedframe for our downstairs room. We wanted something that had storage in it, i.e. drawers or cubbies. I looked and looked, and every time I found something I thought would do the trick, I got to the very end of the ordering process only to be informed – “this item will not ship to your location”! So, I started to look for another solution to this dillemna, and came across the  a fantastic DIY site. There was even plans for a storage bed with under bed storage / drawers just like we wanted. For exact plans, cuts and instructions, follow the link.

I studied the plans, send my man out to get the required wood, and then got to work. I should say right now that this was my very-first woodworking project. Now, my grandfather was a builder and I would like to think that construction is in my blood but the plain and simple fact is that this was an ambitious project for a greeny like myself. Suggestion – start with something more straight forward if this is your first project!

So, I started from the plans and followed everything, for the most part, to a T. The hardest task of the whole project was making the cuts, in part because you are working with very large pieces of plywood. If you don’t own a table saw, you may be able to get the wood cuts done at your local hardware store, for a fee. We were not as careful as we should have been, which made the construction a bit more challenging. Also, there were some spaces and unevenness in the final product. This isn’t noticeable, unless you look at it carefully, but should be avoided if possible.

After the cuts were done, I began to put the bed together. I spread out a large piece of reusable drop cloth and went to work. Each bench was assembled and screwed together, framed out and finally the one bench (the bed base) is framed out on the ends. I used ¾” screws to ensure the pieces stayed together. Although glue was suggested, I didn’t use it. Maybe this is my greenness showing… but I thought it would make a mess and was not necessary with the screws. Then, I started in on the finishing. First, I filled some of the holes and imperfections (i.e. my mistakes!) with wood filler and let this dry. Then I sanded all the bed pieces with 100 grit sandpaper using both an electric rotary sander for the large outer surfaces of the benches, and a small hand block for the smaller and inside sections.

Beginning the painting process, I put on a primer coat, which is needed for bare wood (I used Rust-Oleum American Accents Primer). This ensures that the second and third coats will go on smoothly. Then, I followed this with two coats of white paint. I chose white because I thought it would stand out nicely against a darker bedspread, and not darken the room too much (light is an issue in the North!). I sanded between paint coats with 120 grit sandpaper. For all painting, I used Rust-Oleum American Accents Smooth Satin Finish in Heirloom White.

Once the painting was complete, I build the last part of the bed, the spacer. I needed help with this part from my man. I didn’t build it quite to specification – taking out one section – since it was noted online that this part of the bed is quite overbuilt. Finally, we assembled the benches into place, measured and screwed the spacer into each bench by first carefully ensuring it all lined up and supporting it underneath while drilling. We popped the final top sheet of plywood into place over the spacer and the bed was done! The final product looks great, and we can store a lot of things in the cubbies and also in the hole covered by the spacer. I chose to keep the cubbies open and not build the drawers. I will eventually get baskets for the front and back cubbies and keep the back for blankets and long-term storage items.

Front of bed cubby with small brown baskets in it

Back of bed cubbies

Side of bed showing framed out end

A note that this bed is very heavy. If you are looking for a lighter version, you might build it from 2x4s (as they say can be done) or devise a way to lighten the final product. Some people had drilled holes or shapes into the top and sides of the bed to lighten it up. We just left it as it is, as we won’t move it around very much.

I guess the one thing I may have done differently would be to select the plywood much more carefully. It’s tough to get flat (i.e. bow-free), and knot-free sheets up here and I think that made it more difficult. Neat, clean plywood sheets would make this project go more smoothly.

The really great thing about this project is that – if for some reason you don’t want and/or need a bed in the future, you can take apart the bed frame and you are left with three benches! These are pretty useful and I think I could find a way to incorporate them into almost any living space.

The final product (I am working on getting a new bedspread)!

Happy building!

~ Katrina

For this reason, I’m always looking for ways to get the most out of my clothes, plus keep my eyes open for key pieces that could help me to reinvent my closet.  Being surrounded by lovely, classy friends; clothes swaps have proven to be fruitful events.  If like me, you’re not concerned with wearing gently used or second hand clothing then local thrift stores and garage sales can also prove to be useful allies to inject inspiration into your wardrobe, for less than full price.

My favorite finds of late are:  A fun khaki coloured skirt that I’ve been dressing up with belts and stockings; black suede puss in boots boots; and this light gauzy scarf with a million soft colours and a light leaf pattern.

While it can be easy to feel sorry for yourself and mope around while your friends are out enjoying a hike or get-together, it is important to remember that, if you take the time to rest and recover, you can get back out there sooner. I’ve been going through this situation for a bit now. Being injured initially had me down, but then I forced myself to stop focusing on the negative and started to plan all the activities that I want to do once I heal. Trust me, my spring is one action packed season that I can’t wait to experience

Aside from planning for the near-uninjured-future, I noticed a huge change in my positive attitude once I started to get back out into the world. Even if you are only going to medical appointments, I highly suggest  not taking the easy route and going out in your yoga pants and sweatshirt. Overnight I went from being super mopey and just going through the motions to at least feeling better about myself when I was out of the house. I no longer felt like I needed to feel sorry for myself, because even though my body was aching on the inside, on the outside I looked healthy, which made me feel healthier.

It might be the little things, but the little things are the ones that make a big difference. Just keep reminding yourself that the end is near (hopefully!) and that it’s just a minor setback. You might not be able to do everything you want to do, but the time will come. So just remember, when you pull a muscle from sneezing, it’s not the end of the world, so relax, put your feet up and enjoy some mandatory relaxation.

The NYC version of my Victoria, BC townhouse.

Sooooo we are buying a house. No, this is not a confession or a revelation, most of our friends already know this. Especially since we’ve been “buying a house” on and off for the past few years, and in a more concrete way for the past two months or so. Eventually we will reach the state of “bought a house”, also known as “home owners”.  Or “land owners”. Landed gentry. Lord and Lady of the Manor. That turned into Downton Abbey pretty quickly, didn’t it?

Did you know it’s kind of complicated to buy a house? I didn’t. Turns out lenders and lawyers want proof that you have actual money. As if I’d go into this with fairy dust and good intentions. Well actually I tried that a few years ago – spoiler alert, it didn’t work out. This time I’ve got my ducks in a row.

Here’s something I wish I’d known at the beginning of this process – you need a lawyer or notary to do a bunch of work for you, and it can cost around a THOUSAND dollars! Youch! I know that’s peanuts in the whole scheme of buying a whole house, but still, that’s money out-of-pocket that’s not in your mortgage! I.e. you have to come up with this cash! Also, appraisals. We haven’t finished this whole process yet so I don’t know if that comes out of our pocket or just gets rolled into the mortgage, but that’s another $300. And if you shop around for mortgages and get that far in the process with multiple lenders, that’s multiple appraisals you have to pay for! Blarg.

We’re lucky in that we’re in no hurry to get this deal sorted, since we are buying from my parents and we already live in the townhouse we are buying from them. So that works out nicely. No moving costs, and we know what the state of the place is already so there will be no surprise pipe explosions or roof replacements. But still, I’d like to get this show on the road. Two months is a long time to be “buying a house”. I guess that’s what happens when you try to do it over Christmas. Oh well, hopefully by the end of this month we’ll be Lord and Lady Shelbourne of Cobblestone Walk. Fingers crossed!

My latest flavour favorite is cardamon and Grand Marnier:

Ingredients:

• 2 3/4 cups whipping cream
• 3 tea spoons of tea leaves (or equivalent of 3 tea bags)
• 8 egg yolks
• 1/3 cup granulated sugar
• 1/4 cup Grand Marnier liqueur
• 2 tsp vanilla
• ½ cup brown sugar

Directions:

1. Heat cream over medium heat in a saucepan until starting to steam, then add tea leaves;
2. In a bowl, mix egg yolks with granulated sugar;
3. Remove cream from heat, strain to remove tea leaves;
4. Add liqueur & vanilla to cream, stir and add mix into sugar/egg mixture;

1. Divide among ramekins, place in large shallow pan and pour enough boiling water to come halfway up ramekins;
2. Bake at 350°F for 30-35 minutes, or until edge is set but centre jiggles;
3. Remove from hot water bath and set aside to cool. Place in refrigerator for minimum 2 hours (up to 2 days)

When ready to serve, sprinkle brown sugar evenly over surface of custard;

• Use a blow torch to melt and brown the sugar or broil in oven for 2 to 6 minutes until sugar evenly browns and darkens; let sit for 10-15 minutes before serving.

The morning after my dream, we (my family and I) got our trailer and car ready for our adventure to Spokane and when we reached the outskirts of Colville, our car broke exactly where I had dreamed it did.  My father got out of the car and hitchhiked back into Colville to get help. The very first car that drove past him stopped and picked him up. Would you believe that the driver was a mechanic and drove a brown car? He towed our car to his garage, found a place (for free) for us to park our trailer and lent us his car to drive into Spokane to go shopping.  So, you can imagine how having a dream come true the next day can make one believe in fate.

I also believe you have some control over the experiences that come into your life, in regards to how and when. For example, right when my last boyfriend and I were breaking up, I knew that I would meet my future husband in two years’ time. I said this sentence to myself the one time and then forgot about it.

Fast forward two years and I remembered my statement and I started wondering where my future husband was. I could feel the presence and love, but I had not met him. One weekend, I had a pretty low day because the guy I was trying to date at the time, nothing was going right. So, I decided that then and there, I would forever be single and I felt ok with that.

Now, would you believe that the very next weekend I met my now husband? We met at the bar, and he just came up to me and said ‘hi’. I knew right away that he liked me and so I invited him to my house for a party (disclaimer: there was no party!) and we have been together ever since.

The funny or strange thing is we discovered that we had many mutual friends over the years and yet we never met. We both went to college at the same time; I was even friends with his then girlfriend and he also once dated a roommate of mine a few years before we (my roommate and I) lived together.  We also discovered that we lived one block away from each other during the summer of 2000!

So, these two significant events in my life have made me believe in fate and also, that we can control when and how fate finds us.  Do you believe in fate?

~

I passed kindergarten, so why didn’t I learn how to make friends?

Sometimes I feel like Elmyra from Tiny Toons, when I make a new friend: “I want to hug him, and love him, and squeeze him, and never let them go”.  My closest friends will attest to the fact that I’ve always had one or two close friends with whom I did EVERYTHING. As my life has changed, I am lucky to be married to an amazing man who fulfills this role. Sometimes I miss having someone other than my spouse who I see all the time, and who knows everything about me, but no matter how hard I try it seems like I’m in a very different place than my friends.

I often say I am too anti-social to make new friends, but the truth is I’m “selectively social”. I don’t have time for the negativity and drama that can often accompany friendships, so I’m very picky about whom I share my free time with. I’m lucky enough to have an amazing base of friends and family, and I choose to make the most of my time with them.

Whatever the case, I find myself wondering: “How do you make new friends?”  Recently I’ve met someone at work who appears to share many common interests with me. Whenever I see this person I just want to jump on her and say “PLEASE be my friend!” Somehow, I suspect this technique won’t work in my favour.  I’ve tried connecting with her based on our commonalities: working out, children of the same age. It seems like we connect, have a good time chatting and then … nothing. So I wonder, “Is it me?” Maybe she doesn’t like me. Maybe I’m trying too hard. My husband says “Just ask her out for coffee, then you’ll know for sure”. The problem there is that I struggle to open up in person at the beginning of friendships; feeling self-conscious and certain what I’ve just said came out wrong.   I’m much better online, where I can gradually overcome my shyness.

Another situation I often ponder is the male/female friendship dynamic. Many people say men and women cannot be friends.   I used to disagree: I used to have more guy friends than girl friends. Then all of a sudden, after I got married, a large percentage of my guy friends dropped off the planet. Seriously, did they know my relationships before weren’t going to work out?  Were they holding out, waiting for a chance to score a piece of ass? Well to those who waited unsuccessfully and then bailed: that’s your loss! Even if you weren’t getting any, I’m still a fun friend. I cherish the ones who are still my friends.

Even though I still find I relate to men better than women, the “all over them” approach is a whole other issue when it comes to male/female relationships.  Jumping on them and begging for friendship comes across even worse! (Come to think of it, a few of my male-friend-prospects do deserve a good jumping-on… but that’s a thought for a different post.) Most men assume we have nothing in common… as a married woman with a baby, there’s no way I like heavy metal, hanging out, playing video games, RIGHT? They tend to assume I’m all about shopping and whatever else it is women do together.  I’m not sure how to convey my interests in a way that results in a platonic friendship.

Funnily enough, when it came to dating, I was the first to be straightforward. I never had a problem asking a man out, I never played games, I was always straightforward, and to-the-point. So now that relationship-building involves only friendship, and should be much less complicated than dating, why am I stuck? What do you do to make new friends?

You may remember my post about injecting some beach-house style into my living room. It’s Pinterest’s fault that I even thought there was something missing from my decor. I used to think that my living room looked good if there was no clean laundry on the couch and the floor was dog-hair free. Now if my accent pillows don’t have pictures of birds on them (or jungle animals, or da Vinci men) I’m a failure.

So what’s the solution, you ask? I have no idea. This isn’t a post that will solve your problems, only introduce new ones. You’re welcome. On a related note, my living room still doesn’t look like a beach house. It looks exactly the same as when I wrote the original post. Messier, actually, since I had cleaned up to take those pictures.

I do have a solution, actually. Frequent trips to Ikea. Or if you’re like me and live in a city, nay an island, without an Ikea within driving distance, spend a lot of time at Home Sense or Pier 1. Or shop local and find pricier but cuter versions of these stores that you’re happy to support. Hey, that’s actually a good idea!

And if you’re like me and want to continue punishing yourself with unrealistic style ambitions, check out my living room (and sometimes bedroom) Pinterest board here. I’m sorry.

xo Katie

January can be a difficult month financially and emotionally; the hustle of the holiday season is over, and we’re thrust back into daily life.  It’s important to take time to relax and take care of ourselves, and that shouldn’t have to mean costly trips to the spa.  By scanning the web I found some easy and popular recipes and products that were natural and I could make at home.

I invited a few girlfriends over for a relaxing couple of hours on a Saturday afternoon, and asked them to optimistically try out these natural home-made (by me!) products:

• Rejuvenating Mask:  Nutmeg, Cinnamon and Honey  (1 TB Honey, 1 t cinnamon, ½ t nutmeg)
• *Calms redness, moisturizes and apparently helps with reducing the look of scars. Please note that the cinnamon does create a slight warming sensation.
• Exfoliating Mask: Brown Sugar and Honey  (Mix equal parts)
• *Brown sugar exfoliates and honey (which is a natural antibacterial) helps to clean pores while also acting as a natural moisturizer
• Toner:  Apple cider vinegar (1 part vinegar / 2 parts water)
• *Apple Cider Vinegar helps to restore the pH balance in your skin and also helps to dissolve impurities in your pores.
• Moisturizer:  Olive Oil & Honey (Mix equal parts Oil and Honey for a creamy lotion)

Hand Scrub:  Salt/Sugar & Olive Oil

I consider myself as having sensitive skin so I was cautious of how my skin was feeling while I tried out the products.  After completing this natural skin regime (mask, toner, moisturizer) my skin felt awesome - it felt as good as when I use my regular products (store bought/FDA approved)!

Considering all products contained sugar and spices, we smelled delicious.  The rejuvenating cinnamon mask also worked as a lip exfoliant.  Our entire faces felt soft and glowy after the new routine.  Hand scrubs were a welcome addition and surprise (especially after such cold weather).  A note about the honey/oil moisturizer: we weren’t certain how long to leave it on (forever?) but recommend using a warm face cloth after a half hour or so, to remove any excess stickiness before applying make-up etc.

All in all, what a welcome change from my regular routine – and a fabulous excuse to have some ladies over to relax and watch a christmas movie!

I hate making resolutions. I also hate setting goals (or rather, I can set goals like crazy, it’s the execution that I’m less awesome at). However, January is always a time when we re-evaluate what’s important, what we like about our life and what we don’t. Now is as good a time as any to make changes, right? RIGHT?!

Why do we make resolutions in the first place? Is it to renovate our entire lives? Just make little changes? I think most of the time people see this time of year as an opportunity to make drastic changes, but that’s just not realistic. I have a new system to suggest. Here it goes…

Pick just one thing to work on for now. Check in monthly. Ask yourself then, is this still a goal? Are you making the change? Do you still want to make the change?

Or maybe pick one thing to work on for the next two months. You may or may not actually make the change, but you only have two months for this one thing. There’s a time limit. In two months (or three, four, whatever you like) pretend it’s New Years again and tackle another change.

It’s nice to think that we can tackle all of our resolutions all at the same time and be a completely different person by next year, but that’s just not going to happen, and you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. If you try making small changes, one at a time, and check-in with yourself often, you’re much more likely to succeed. And the process of checking in with yourself every few months will probably keep you on track to make some meaningful changes in your life, rather than just feel guilty a year from now.

The first restaurant that we discovered is Kaz Sushi (#100 1619 Store Street).  The reasons why I love this restaurant is they serve brown rice sushi, have gluten-free soya sauce and the food is inexpensive and healthy. My average meal costs about $10-15.

My favourite meal is the yam roll and gomaae (steamed spinach with sesame sauce)

The second restaurant that I love is Hernandez (735 Yates Street). Like Kaz Sushi, Hernandez caters to those with dietary restrictions. I find their food fresh, tasty, and inexpensive. My average meal costs about $8-10.

My favourite meal currently is the bean tacos.

In addition to my favourite inexpensive restaurants, I thought I would share with you the best places to buy groceries in Victoria. The best and most inexpensive places for produce is The Root Cellar (1286 McKenzie Avenue) and Red Barn Markets (5325 Cordova Bay Road and 5550 West Saanich Road). I have also discovered a Pharmasave (1964 Fort St), which recently became a Rexall, has a great selection of health food and snacks for unbelievably low prices. We often venture there to buy items such as, almonds, coconut oil and olive oil.  The last hidden gem is Seven Valleys (2506 Douglas Street). We stopped on a whim one day and found that they have an amazing selection of inexpensive cheeses, olives, spices and olive oils.

Those are my favourite inexpensive restaurants and food marts in Victoria. Do you have one to add to my list?

I’ll give you the disclaimer now. If you’re trying to stick to a New Year’s resolution about not eating so many sweets, or living a healthy lifestyle without goodies, then DO NOT PROCEED. Pecan pie is not a healthy pie to begin with and this recipes makes the tastiest ever and you won’t be able to stop. Ok, disclaimer over and now onto the delicious recipe and pictures (you should check out the amazing pictures Bakerella has on her site…WOW!).

Pecan Pie

*’Mama’s Pecan Pies‘ recipe from Bakerella

*Makes 3 pies or 33 mini pies…approximately.

What You Need:

16 oz Pecans

1 cup Margarine

16 oz Light Brown Sugar

1 heaping tbsp flour (use a serving tablespoon, not a measuring spoon)

16 oz Light Corn Syrup

1 tbsp Vanilla (use a serving tablespoon, not a measuring spoon)

6 eggs

3 frozen pie crusts or mini pie shells

What to Do:

1. Melt the margarine in the microwave until fully melted; set aside;
2. Sort through the pecans and make sure that all dark spots are removed (these can cause the pecans to be bitter). Sift through a strainer or colander to remove any crumbs;
3. Add brown sugar to a bowl and ensure there aren’t any clumps. Then stir in flour, corn syrup, vanilla. Mix thoroughly. If you have an stand mixer, use the whisk attachment during these steps to have everything nicely mixed;
4. If you are using a stand mixer, add melted margarine to bowl while set to ‘stir’ (or low). If you are mixing by hand, then carefully fold margarine into the mix;
5. Crack the eggs in a separate bowl, removing any white clumps. Lightly beat and then fold into the sugar & corn syrup mixture;
6. Gently stir in pecans by hand and pour mixture evenly into pie shells;
7. Double check that all the pies have approximately the same amount of pecans and redistribute to even out them out;
8. Bake for 45 – 70 minutes for pies or 25-40 minutes for tarts at 350° F. You want to make sure that the pies have puffed up and then fallen before you remove them from the oven.
9. Once cooled (a few hours), enjoy or package up for gifts!

What’s not to like? No one to kick you out of bed for eating cookies, or to tell you you’ve had enough! Not that that ever happens, I mean who doesn’t like cookies?

As happy as I am with my lot in life, there are still moments when I feel a little blue.  Sometimes I listen to the negative voice in the back of my head that encourages me to focus on what’s missing, rather than all of the amazing things in my life.  In these self-destructive moments I look in the mirror and my attention is drawn to imperfections or flaws. 

I recently celebrated my birthday, and among the kind wishes from friends and family was this one message from a close girlfriend of mine (who also happens to be fabulous and single).  Although I rejoiced and enjoyed every moment of my birthday this year, I’m saving her words to re-read the next time I really need a reminder to feel good about who I am and where I’m at. 

In the event that there’s someone else out there who (for whatever reason) also needs a reminder to focus on the positive I thought I would share my friend’s words with you:

~ 

I truly think we are growing up to be the best versions of ourselves, and that we as single gals in particular, get a bit of a head start here.  It’s a gift given to single women (most often, one that you give yourself).  We single gals – sensitive, intuitive, and capable of remarkable depth - are destined to have lasting and meaningful relationships with the people we keep in our lives.

Of course our married and coupled friends are capable of the same, but we as singles have learned to be committed to ourselves and dedicated to making ourselves happy… and so our opportunity for growth is boundless.  As we learn about ourselves and our individual gifts, not only do we recognize our own soul, but we start to easily recognize our soul’s mates as well.

When we feel we have something unique and extraordinary to offer anyone who may cross paths with us, we look for the same light in everyone we meet and so we naturally attract people who can help us discover or grow ever more.

Yep, us single gals get to have it all: adventure, freedom, whimsy, mystery, uncertainty, an uninterrupted quest for spiritual contentment, and the cozy nest, too (designed just how we like it and filled with all the memories that make us happiest to be us).

Enjoy your life as you enjoy your birthday today!

~

This message is applicable to all of the ladies in my life, and I hope in sharing it with you it will serve as a reminder to be kind to yourself, and remember to focus on the positive, and all of the ways you are amazing.

So, having said that, I realized that there is one relationship in my life that has sadly fallen apart,  that I miss dearly and I have no idea how to repair; I am referring to my relationship with coffee. I know, it sounds strange, but, if you ever had to quit coffee, you will probably understand where I am coming from.

I remember our romance (yes, I am referring to my relationship with coffee as a romance) started in high school when it was trendy to ‘go out for coffee’. My friends and I would drink countless cups and it never seemed to have a big effect on us. Fast forward a couple years to when I started university, I had a nice daily habit of one cup of Joe in the morning.  My roommates at the time were surprised to learn my addiction to coffee at such a young age and to this day, one of them still blames me for her current addiction to the stuff.

As the years went by, more and more I really started to enjoy and look forward to my wonderful and nice morning cup of coffee.  The smell of the beans, the gurgling sounds of the coffee maker, the wonderful and full body taste of my coffee and the amazing rush I got every morning…it was such a beautiful ritual.

Then, one day, things started to change. I was in my late twenties and feeling a bit lost and unsure of my life path.  I started to develop some real anxiety issues and my stomach became really delicate and I developed some food intolerances. I noticed that my morning cup of coffee was heightening my anxiety and was hard on my stomach, so, in an effort to take back some control over my well-being, I had to wean myself off coffee.

Now, fast forward seven years and I am still missing coffee! Once in a while I will go through a phase in which I will have a cup and think to myself, ‘oh, it’s ok, it’s just one, some people drink a pot of coffee a day and still function’. When I do have an occasional cup, I can go from feeling great and alive to feeling anxious and sick to my stomach. I now realize that the only times I can drink it and have no adverse effects is on holidays when I have absolutely no stress.

And please, don’t tell me that tea can fill the void. I am a huge tea drinker and yes, I love the stuff, but it will never replace the hole that coffee has left. This will not stop me from having it again. Even though I have had horrible times drinking the stuff, I can’t help remember all the great times we have had and I will always try to relive that experience.

What is your current relationship with coffee?

My Laundry Closet Reno Plan!

2013 is going to be a great year for my house. As I’ve mentioned in the past, I can get kinda lazy sometimes, which isn’t always a great thing for my home. As a result of said laziness, I’ve got a few areas in the house that I have wanted to work on for YEARS but have always been too indecisive and unmotivated to get the projects completed. Well, keeping in line with my goal of being more in 2013, I have decided that I’m going tackle the projects this year.

So what do I have planned for the year ahead? You can look forward to reading about my adventures of completely overhauling my laundry closet and powder room, with smaller projects in the main bathroom and kitchen.  I hope to get on the laundry room first as it is currently driving me crazy with its layout. Don’t you just hate it when something doesn’t have a logical layout and you deal with it all the time? I’m going on 4+ years that I’ve had a horrible laundry closet so it’s time for a change! I am planning on painting, installing shelving and cabinets and stacking my washer and dryer. If I get super ambitious I might just throw in a door replacement.

The powder room will involve replacing the toilet and flooring, redoing the cabinets, mirror and lights, in addition to a few other things. I definitely will have my work cut out for me but the changes will greatly add to the function of the home, in addition to resale value.

Stay tuned over the next few months as I tackle my projects in an effort to turn my home into a more functional, cozy space for 2013. Do you have any home projects you are hoping to get completed this coming year?

The past few months have been met with lessons learned (woodstove = dude smells like campfire); surprise elopements & bundles of joy; inspiration (phoenixes & How to be Happy in Two Simple Steps) and personal triumphs in effort and creativity like Garden Patio & The Jar Technique.

Throughout it all, we’ve grown both as individuals and as friends.  We’ve also been lucky to have members of the A Life Less Awkward community, Krysta and Robyn, join in to share their voices and experiences!

Looking back over the many moments of the past year, here are some of our favorites:

• Vintage Glam or 1870s saloon sexy!
• Orange Lavendar Cake
• Want to start a business? Great, now read this!
• Cellulite is Not the Devil 
• Fashion, You are Drunk

And now, before we ring in the New Year, some awkward (but honest) truths…

• Gillian only dance-walked once this past year (but she hopes the fad will catch on so she can join a dance-walking clinic...)
• Two dinner plates were broken during the making of DIY Cake Stand (and the martini glass may perchance have a small chip in it – but that just adds character!)
• Alana’s secret was set free once she shared how Ditching the Consumerism of Christmas had made her happier.
• Laura’s oven might have a slight vendetta against her.  After years without incident, the day that she decided to bake banana bread, 2 batches burned before the final, 3rd loaf could be photographed for the blog.
• During the closet purge with K, as a joke, Alana donned all of her “non-approved” clothing to ceremoniously bid them farewell.  The resulting photograph scarily ressembled a carnival outfit we shudder to only imagine.
• Candy Corn Nails turned into an unanticipated challenge of ‘how to paint a straight line‘ – good thing J was there to help keep Laura on the straight and narrow.

Thank you for sharing all of the awkward and awesome moments of the past year with us!

We look forward to discovering A Life Less Awkward in 2013 and wish you the best of the holiday season.

Alana, Dayna, Gillian, Katie and Laura

Today’s post is brought to you by 

I first wrote for A Life Less Awkward  because I was bored at work and a friend suggested I try it.   I found I enjoyed writing about what I was feeling at that particular moment but before I handed the story over for posting, I suddenly got nervous.  I started thinking that people were going to judge me, so I asked to remain anonymous.

For days, the idea of remaining anonymous made me feel secure and excited.  I would be able to share my story, vent but if anyone was going to label me as a shitty mom they wouldn’t know it was me.

After hanging out with my babe I eventually came to the realization that I’m a great Mom and decided to include my name in the post.

I may not be a traditional Mother in the sense of what some opinionated members of society expects but I can say my son is VERY happy, healthy, and smart. So why do I care what others think?!?

Every decision in life comes with its group of critics or advocates.  As soon as I became pregnant I started to receive unsolicited advice.  As a private, organized and dedicated person it felt like everyone’s comments were criticisms and when I became a Mother it only got worse.

I have learned a majority of mothers have some level of maternal instinct and many make everything about their child.  These women seem to possess some kind of binding emotion that makes them feel so strongly about their child that pretty much every waking moment is dedicated to their child/children.  

Well sorry to say I am not that type of Mother, nor do I want to be.  I love my son, but my whole life does not revolve around him.  This is the truth that I’ve been hiding because it made me feel like I was a terrible mother.  

• I left my Son with his grandparents and had a night alone when he was 4 months of age;
• I was happy to return to work and have him learn and enjoy day care;
• I let my son explore and learn some things the hard way; and  
• I will admit not every day is filled with roses and laughter; that there are times that are stressful, frustrating, and messy.

These are just a few of the things I feel others might judge me for but I prefer to think there is no right way, or wrong way to be a Mother as long as your children are loved and cared for.  So stop judging me and start living your own life.

If you’ve gotten some questionable gift cards this year, there are ways to exchange them for what you actually want and can use. Gift card exchange websites exist in both Canada and the USA, so that you can either exchange with other users, or just sell your gift card for most, if not all, of the value.

Cardswap.ca

This Canadian website allows users to sell their gift cards to the website in exchange for up to 92% of the value. You can get a cheque for the balance, or higher-value points on the website, which you can use to buy gift cards you actually want.

PlasticJungle.com

In the USA, Plastic Jungle is the go-to website for selling your unused gift cards. The percentage you get back varies by retailer – I’ve seen percentages from 68% to 89%. You can get paid by cheque, paypal, or Amazon gift card. You can also buy gift cards at a discount on this site.

Your Local Marketplace Website

Don’t forget sites like UsedEverywhere.com and Craigslist. eBay and Kijiji are other classifieds websites. You may have to sell at a discount to entice people to buy your gift card (as opposed to just going out to the store and buying it directly) but you’ll get cold hard cash for your unwanted card, and you won’t have to deal with shipping or any other restrictions.

Re-gifting

Never forget the age-old tradition of re-gifting. Does a friend have a birthday coming up? Do you think they would like a gift card to The Garden Gnome Store more than you would, if that’s even possible?! Just try to remember who gave you these gift cards so you don’t give it back to the original gifter. That’s awkward.

I like lemon curd. I like lemon cookies. Lemon curd in lemon cookies? Yes please!

Lemon curd sandwiched between two lemon sugar cookies. OMG.

My sister made me lemon curd for Christmas last year, which got me on a lemon kick all year. I also love sugar cookies, especially lemon sugar cookies. This recipe is a combination of both these delish desserts!

The recipe calls for lemon curd, which you can make from scratch or just buy from the store. I like home-made lemon curd best because I can make it a little less sweet than regular curd, but for this recipe, since we’re also making cookies, I just bought it from the store.

Ingredients

• 1 1/4 cups unsalted butter
• 3/4 cups sugar
• 1 egg yolk
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 2 Tbsp lemon zest (approx. 2 lemons)
• 2 cups flour
• pinch of salt
• lemon curd, approx. 1 cup

Instructions

Uncooked, with lemon curd in the middle of rounds.

Cooked, lightly brown around the edges.

Get daringly rakish with your winter fashions this upcoming holiday season.  If you are ready to peel off tired old clothing items that are out of date and out of style, the holiday season is the best time of the year to make a new commitment to your inner fashion expert.  You don’t have to spend all of your money to look and feel great when it comes to purchasing new items for your wardrobe; but you do need to have fun mixing and matching unique styles and items until you find the outfits and shoes that best express your flair for fashion and creativity!

For sleek new winter clothing items that look great and make you feel alive, confident and bold, consider combining a sharp belted blazer with a turtleneck and a pair of ultra skinny jeans.  This dazzling style is both rakish and sophisticated and will be the perfect outfit to wear while you are holiday shopping or when you go out dancing in the evenings.  If you are walking at night to see holiday lights, simply slip on a warm winter coat with puffed stitching and a faux fur collar.  Heads will turn and your confidence will skyrocket in this smart and trendy outfit.

If your family loves to dress up for holiday meals and present exchange time, a simple tweed, knee-length skirt, leather ankle boots with heels and a warm cable knit sweater will be the perfect ensemble.  To accessorize this outfit, put your hair in a high ponytail and tie a cream colored patterned scarf around the base of the ponytail and slip on a gold pair of hoop earrings.

If you want to be super warm and stylish at the same time, cardigans are hot items this winter. Cardigans are available at waist length and longer and you can pick and choose between cardigans with hoods, belts, buttons and pockets.  Cozy wool and cotton blend cardigans will prove to be a staple item in your closet that you can continuously mix and match with other clothing items so you can be prepared for any holiday festivity.

Looking beautiful and glamorous is possible this winter when you make a commitment to let your inner beauty shine.  Once you slip into some fantastic new winter clothes and add some fashionable bangles, earrings and scarves, you’ll instantly feel much bolder, more stylish, and more confident!

WE MADE IT! It’s safe to say that the world didn’t end this week, like the Mayans predicted (as some believed), so get ready to live your life to the fullest!

Going into 2013, my new years resolutions aren’t the typical (lose weight, quit drinking/smoking, save more money, etc…), but instead my resolution is quite simple. My goal for 2013 is to be more. I WANT TO BE MORE.

My husband recently showed me a video, Zeitgeist 2012: Year In Review, that really motivated me. If you haven’t watched it yet, watch it. In under 3 minutes, I felt empowered and also void. While I’m very happy with my life, and don’t have any complaints, this video showed me that there is so much more out there and I don’t want my life to just pass me by anymore. Gillian’s post last month got me started on getting my life together and now I want to further enrich it. 2013 is the year for me to start.

While my main resolution of being ‘more’ is fairly vague, I do have some specifics that I’m getting started with:

1. This past year I’ve talked with friends about going rock climbing, but I’ve never moved forward on this. 2013 is the year!
2. I want to give back more. I’m not sure how I want to do this, but I want something interesting and unique and that really speaks to me.
3. I am going to put more into my career to get it to where I want it to be.
4. I need to figure out a way to travel more. I feel alive and inspired when I travel.
5. I have to spend more time with my girlfriends. They keep me sane and happy and I’m incredibly luckily to have so many amazing women in my life.
6. J and I are going to go camping! This might sound like a funny one, but every year we want to camp just us and our dog and we NEVER do it.

I won’t accomplish everything this year, which is fine, but at least I want to get a start on them all.

What are your resolutions or goals going into 2013?

Sometimes it felt like  jumping through communication and learning hoops (often stumbling) but it helped me to work on verbalizing what I value in a partner as well as deal breakers.  I’ve even found a balance between taking time and care of myself, while also making time to meet new people.  Though it hasn’t always been easy, over the past few months I’ve grown in so many ways and am surprised by some of the things I’ve learned, like:

Actively listen and respond: think about it, if you only had an hour to get a robust sense of someone’s habits, values, goals, pet-peeves, hobbies, dreams… Chances are you’d hunker down and pay acute attention!  *For those of you who have been out of the dating world for a while, how often do you find yourself not 100% listening to the person you’re talking with?

Read body language:  I’m paying attention, so when the person I’m with clearly isn’t fully engaging with me (e.g. checking cell phone or watch, looking around the coffee shop, smiling at passersby, yawning…) then I’m naturally going to wonder why the lack of focus and whether he’s just not that into me.

Be honest:  Before my foray into the online dating world, I sometimes went on dates with guys that I wasn’t into, because I couldn’t figure out how to be honest.  Online dating can be scary because you’re putting yourself out there with the potential for it to go somewhere serious (e.g. marriage).  But when I wasn’t feeling 100% interested, (or even 70%) it forced me to get real and find honest but gentle ways to get my point across sooner rather than later.

Things guys wish I hadn’t learned:

To know when to stay silent.  There are many who choose not to be the centre of attention.  Wallflowers, pensive, introverted or simply shy and respectful individuals who choose to observe from the sidelines, and never force their opinions on the world around them.  When we fail to notice or engage with them, we miss out on a ton.  Some of my favorite matches have been this exact type.  After talking about themselves for even ten minutes, some guys get uncomfortable and would love to have the spotlight shine away from them.  Perhaps not surprisingly, I’ve learned some important things, when I’ve had the restraint to stay SILENT for a moment or two.  This allows sometimes shy and introverted individuals a moment to collect their thoughts and actively participate in the conversation (also useful in a work related context!)

To direct conversation.  Directing conversation and keeping guys talking about themselves has been a useful skill when after 5 minutes talking with a guy (or surviving an unwelcome first date hug) I’ve realised I’m not interested in seeing them again.  It’s allowed me to keep the person talking about themselves, while I actively listen and respond and probe for further information.  At the end of an hour, they feel 100% heard, 100% of the time, and I can politely decline a second date, guilt-free!   Win Win!

*To give boys an opportunity to retort, here’s a webpage that lists Rules that Guys Wish Girls Knew.

As I’ve gotten older, wrapping has become more of an art. Rather than simply wrap the gifts in store-bought wrapping paper, why not make them unique and fun?! There are so many ways to wrap presents, so the options are quite endless.

For my wrapping this year I decided to do a simple design using simple items. Quick and easy, you can have your own wrapping paper made in under an hour!

DIY Wrapping Paper

What You Need:

• Kraft paper - you can buy a roll at an office supplies store or you can use brown paper bags (I did!)
• Stencil or design
• Spray paint

What To Do:

1. Roll out your paper to the size needed (hint – having a good idea of how the item will be wrapped will help with the design layout)
2. Place your stencil on the paper and spray your design with the spray paint
3. Once dry, wrap your present up. You can add ribbon or string if you like, or you can leave it plain.

You can also use stamps, spell out names, and other fun things with plain kraft paper as the background. You can check out a great selection of unique gift wrapping ideas here!

Another great idea for a unique touch to gifts is to re-use past Christmas cards that you’ve received and turn them into gift tags. Simply cut a circle (or square, rectangle, etc) from the front section of the card. You can then either attach it to some construction paper (or cardstock) or leave it as is. Attach it to the gift and you’re set. Check out these ones created by fellow ALLA writer Gillian:

1) Clean out that closet. Have a friend you trust help clear out your closet. Sometimes it’s hard to see our fashion choices objectively and  it’s helpful if someone who has great fashion sense can let you know what should stay and what needs to go. Luckily, I already did this in a previous post with my friend K and have a head start for 2013.

2)  Do your hair. I cannot believe how long I will go in-between haircuts (last time I went 6 months). Also, I will no longer think it is ok to put my hair back up in a pony tail for months on end. So, in an effort to look more put together, I will make doing and getting my hair cut and styled more of a priority.

3) Step away from the uniform. Don’t stick to the same old pieces of clothing. I notice that I easily get stuck in ruts and find that I buy or wear the same thing all the time (I call it my uniform). So, I challenge myself  to start diversifying my wardrobe and start wearing some of the articles that may at first make me feel like I stand out. I also want to put myself out of my comfort zone in the New Year and buy clothes that I would not normally buy. Maybe a bright dress or some crazy shoes?

4) Put on jewelry. This is something I have no problems with. I always make sure that I have jewelry on. I find sometimes it doesn’t matter what you are wearing, once you put on a nice pair of earrings and/or necklace, you instantly feel and look more put together and dressier.

5) Get a clue. Make an effort to know what is in style. Never again will I utter the words, ‘I have no idea what is in style’. In the New Year, I will pay attention and will start to incorporate some fashion into my life.  With this in mind, I asked my friend K for some of her favourite fashion websites. She suggested: the Club Monaco website , Holts Muse,  People Style Watch and the Sartorialist.

6) Visit my favourite stores. I  vow to actually visit my favourite clothing stores (as mentioned in a previous post). I am sorry to say that I can’t remember the last time I actually bought a new article of clothing. So, in 2013, I will make an effort to actually look and perhaps buy some new clothes.

So, these are more fashion and style resolutions for 2013, do you have any?

The world can be led astray by gossip, public persona, and by what other people think.  What is ‘real’ seems to have become a matter of opinion, not necessarily shaped by the truth; but instead, shaped by an interpretation of facts, the projected truth, the media, the hearsay, and the gossip.

Surviving in this universe has me focusing on what I say, write, and how things can be interpreted when taken out of context.  I focus on anticipating and planning situations down to the tiniest detail, the minutiae, like the perfect pair of pearl earrings.  I anticipate, I plan, and I analyze.

In a world where reality and truth is a matter of opinion (or support) I myself sometimes struggle with the question of who I am.  In moments of uncertainty I’ve found it even more important to surround myself with people whom I trust and with whom I can be myself.  Self-help books, makeover and talk shows just seem to perpetuate this idea of surface image as reality.  Almost as if the perfect shade of lipstick could transform us into a completely different person (fake it til you make it?).  Trouble is, people seem more lost than ever.  On the subject of reality versus fiction, about surface reality and intrinsic value (who we are on the inside) a friend of mine suggested that what appears on the surface IS in fact reality, and everything beneath is the story we’ve made up to suit ourselves.  Scary thought.

What if reality is what other people think and say about us?  If a tree falls in a forest, and no one is there to hear it, perhaps it never really fell?!  I can’t help but worry that truth has become defined only by irrefutable facts.  Things that can’t easily be shown or proven, risk being disproved or dismissed due to lack of concrete evidence.

What do you think of as the ‘real you’?  How do you ground yourself in reality?

As mentioned in a previous post, I lost my job in August with two days notice. Two days is not a lot of time to start to save for that rainy day. When doing up my monthly budget before I lost my job, I really believed it was ok to spend all my surplus money and live pay cheque to pay cheque. This, of course, would put me into sticky situations when unexpected expenses would come up.  I remember thinking to myself, ‘I wish I could understand the real value of money and stop spending all my disposable income’.

Well, my wish has come true.  Once I lost my job, my budget became extremely tight and I had little to almost no disposable income.  Any money that did come in, I was extremely careful with; I would only spend what was really necessary and would budget carefully for anything that I really needed, such as a haircut.

The funny thing is looking back and reflecting on the last couple of months, I don’t feel like I have been denied anything or that I have ‘missed out’. I am still social (actually, more social than when I was working full time, probably because I get enough sleep and have less stress!), healthy and I am the happiest I have ever been!  I realized that this time has been a blessing for I have finally figured out the value of money, have been living a full and happy life without having much and feel I have learned some of the best lessons life has to teach. I know that soon I will be working again and bringing in more income and am ready to start to save and be smarter about my finances.

Care to share any of your financial life lessons?

I’ve recently decided that hosting a large group doesn’t need to be stressful or lead to a total mental breakdown; there must be ways to avoid issues that could detract from the fun. 

I’m sure we’ve all been to events that were stressful, maybe it was the set-up (it was hard to move around the space and visit with people), or by the time you made it to the food table that amazing three cheese spread you’d been eyeing all evening was all gone… I’m determined to crack the code on how to make hosting a large group easy. 

Here’s my current methodology: 

1. Prepare as much as you can in advance;
2. Self-serve areas make both hostess and guests lives easier;
3. Once people start arriving, relax.

Next, consider your set-up & layout: 

• Layout:
  • Stay in one room or free-reign?
  • Seating areas?  Place chairs so that people are sitting in areas out of the way of main foot-traffic.
• Traffic flow:
  • Rearrange furniture so guests won’t be stuck in bottleneck areas.
  • Ensure easy movement room to room (to food areas, drink table, washrooms etc).
  • Make sure no knick-knacks are in danger of being bumped by passersby.
• Food and Beverage:
  • Self-serve areas for beverages: wine glasses, cork screw, table cloth, an ice bucket, a cooler filled with soda and beer, etc. 
  • Make sure your food table has the necessary serving utensils, napkins, plates etc so that people can serve themselves.
  • People mingle near food & drink: if your kitchen is small, think about setting up self-serve areas in the living room or dining area where people won’t bottle neck and get stuck.

Cocktail Appetizer Menu:

Appetizers that can be eaten with one hand and do not require utensils are (in theory) less likely to end up dropped and mashed into your favourite rug.  A collection of types of dips and dippers lend themselves to mass appeal and are easy as part of a self-serve table. For large groups, I think this is an easier idea and lends itself to potluck if you’re so inclined. 

Suggestions: 

• Cheese and fruit platter;
• Tortilla chips & salsa, hummous or bean dip;
• Guacamole bruschetta;
• Stuffed mushroom caps;
• Asian meatballs;
• Egg rolls;
• Spinach puffs;
• Veggies; and
• Three cheese spread.   

Relax!

I may just have bought the best pants ever. I’ve been looking for some black pants, possibly cropped, a la Audrey Hepburn. I also love the look of leggings but believe strongly in the “leggings are not pants” philosophy. If you’re not familiar with this philosophy, it’s pretty much as it sounds – leggings are not pants and should not be worn in the same situations as pants. Almost nobody has a rear end that can pull that off.

Anyway as I was saying, I just bought stellar pants from Cusp. They are black, kind of jeans but more like leggings. They are sateen, so they are the thickness of jeans but super soft and also fairly stretchy.

AG Sateen Legging Jeans

The thickness is key here – leggings are way too thin to be considered pants, whereas these beauties smooth every nook and cranny nicely. They’re also long, but I can fold them up to be cropped. They’ll be perfect in a casual outfit with a long sweater; with a blazer and flats; with heels. This is what I’m saying, they are the perfect pants!

That is all.

Today’s post is brought to you by  Robyn, a member of the A Life Less Awkward community!

We’ve all been there: watching a loved one face a situation that you can relate to, wanting so badly to step in and guide them away from the same mistakes you made.  Reflecting on your past, wishing you’d known enough to avoid your own painful experience, but knowing that you probably would have (or did) dismiss the wisdom of others. Can you save someone from themselves?  Where is the line between providing an experienced perspective and just being a self-righteous know-it-all?

It’s really easy to have an opinion about someone else’s decisions (just like it’s much easier to clean someone else’s house than your own – no emotional memories and distractions).  Sometimes those opinions are based on a similar experience, almost to the point of déjà vu.  And unfortunately, those opinions often directly contradict the choice your loved one is making.  You can feel the hurt about to happen and you’re convinced you know better…. So how do you get your point across?

Do you let the person make their own mistakes, thinking they probably cannot (or will not) learn from your situation? Do you pipe up with your advice, even if you know it’s not going to be well received? Enable or battle?

In my not-so-distant past, I experienced a toxic relationship that many people tried to prevent.  Some warned me, some nagged me, some hugged me and listened as I cried (over and over and over).  And through it all, I was convinced I knew better.  That I knew the “real him” and that it would all be okay once he started behaving like the “real him” all the time, instead of only those rare occasions we were alone.  He would grow up, snap out of it, declare his love for me to the world and it would all be kittens and rainbows.  You probably want to shake me and scream “You’re stuck in a fantasy land… if he loved you, he would never put you through all this!  Kick him out of your life and move on!”  You wouldn’t be the only one.

Today things are different for me, and I can see clearly now that he’s not clouding my judgement. But  here’s the issue: I was badly scarred by this experience and now know I wouldn’t want anyone I love to go through the same thing.  I don’t want any of my beautiful friends to feel the way I felt: so undesirable, unworthy, unlovable and ultimately, so used.  And yet, more than one of the amazing women, who were so quick to be on my side and build me back up each time I fell, are facing similar situations… and they’re still taking the same rocky path they watched me gracelessly tumble down so recently.

So how do I stop them from ending up like me? No two situations are identical, which makes it incredibly easy to dismiss someone else’s advice.  (“That was you, he’s different, I’m different, the situation is different, times are different, the expectations are different… ”).  A million tiny differences don’t negate sound advice. Yet, I didn’t listen to theirs (“That’s different, she hadn’t been through it, I’m an expert now, she should really take it from someone who knows…”).

So far, I have taken the supportive approach, comforting their pain and saying “I can remember feeling that way, and it’s awful, I’m so sorry – here’s what I did to begin to feel better.”  But sometimes I wonder if, in doing so, I’m failing them as a friend.  Should I be brutally honest and tell them “He will probably never change – not for you and not even for himself.”?  Is tough love the answer?  Can people learn from other’s mistakes? Or is it like learning to walk – everyone has to fall down a few times?

No life worth living will be completely free of heartache, and I comfort myself with George Bernard Shaw’s quote: “A life spent making mistakes is not only more honourable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.”  But there are days when I wish that I had known then what I know now.

How do you help your friends? Do you think people can take advice when it comes to matters of the heart?

With just a few ingredients that you likely have in your kitchen already, you can mix up a simple and natural holiday home scent.

Stovetop Fragrance

*for townhouse/apartment sized home – double for house

What You Need:

1/2 Orange, sliced

2-3 Cinnamon Sticks

1 tsp Cloves

1/4-1/2 cup Cranberries, Fresh

Water

What To Do:

Ever since I started working out a few years ago I noticed people began to notice and compliment me on my physique.  They started to say things like “you’re so lucky” or “it must be nice to be so tiny”…  While yes, it is very nice to be called tiny, and yes I love being short, petite, small, whatever you want to label me. 

I also want to slap people for these comments because they’re implying that I look this way by chance.  Like I was simply born tiny and in shape and happen to have stayed that way since then.  (FACT: I was a little overweight from about age 10 – 17.)

I feel like responding THANK YOU yes I am very lucky, it’s just lucky I work out 4 – 6 days a week.  It’s lucky that I pay an average monthly gym fee; that I choose to spend my lunch hours working out, and scarf my lunch down in 5 min at the end of my lunch break.

You’re right, it’s also just lucky that my family plans meals for the week in advance and chooses to not keep junk food in the house.

And wow, I’m so lucky to (like most people) have a lunch break at all!

… I also have two feet and a heartbeat – you know, you might be able to tap into this so-called luck too!  That may sound cheesy but seriously if you want to get fit – get off your ass, and eat right.

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have – Thomas Jefferson

I was talking to a friend recently who introduced me to the above quote and it echoes my feelings exactly.  I know there is a percentage of the population who have *conditions/diseases and no matter how much working out and eating right they do they will never be fit.  For them I am truly sorry and they may call me lucky any day of the week.  I would not want to walk a mile in their shoes.

The rest of you though, stop counting my ‘lucky stars’ and instead, spend some time deciding how you can better yourself, rather than attributing the success of others to simple luck.

*Oh and p.s. ‘having a baby’ does not count as a special condition/disease.  My son is only 1.5 years old, I am over 30, and I am the fittest I have ever been.

Before I watched this movie, I was working really hard on trying to figure out what I wanted from life and used the laws of attraction to get it. I learned such things as, in order to make things manifest for yourself, you need to feel like you have already obtained what you want.  Some call it, ‘living from the end’, and Abraham Hicks refers to it as, getting into the vortex and/or finding the vibration of what you want.

These methods were working and I was finding some success, but, I was also finding it time consuming and it required a great deal of effort and focus. It wasn’t until watching, You can Heal Your Life, that I realized what the missing piece was for me…I was not at peace with myself and/or the present moment. The reason for my imbalance was, I was in such a rush to get somewhere else that I was cutting myself off from the here and now, and therefore, not fully enjoying my life.

So, I started to use positive affirmations to help me bridge the gap between where I am now and where I want to be. The affirmations that work for the best for me are:

• I love myself
• I am at peace with where I am right now
• I never go without
• I know I am not where I want to be, and that is ok because it is a starting point
• Only good things happen to me

I know, affirmations sound kind of hokey, and at first, I was like, I am not going to this! But, the first time that I tried and I looked at myself in a mirror and said, ‘I love you’, I felt amazing. I never realized how hard I was on myself and that I need to practice some self-love. Now that I am learning to make peace with myself, I feel so much better about everything. I am generally a happier person and I find it is easier for me to express and accept love; I know that everything I want is on its way and I am doing my best to fully enjoy the journey.

How do you express self-love?

I remember one Christmas about seven years ago, my whole family came down to visit and I spent days and days running around spending hundreds of dollars on presents for everyone.  This was also a time when I was a student and really, I couldn’t afford to be spending that kind of money on anything.  I remember I was so worried on Christmas morning, I wanted to make sure that everyone loved their presents and if they didn’t, I felt I had failed.

So, a couple of years ago, I thought it would be fun to start focusing on the importance of Christmas, which is spending quality time with those you love.  I proposed to my family that we draw names, buy only one present and  put a price limit of $30.  My mom and dad were on board, but, next was trying to convince my sister. She really resisted at first; she loves getting and receiving lots of presents and she said it would not be Christmas without them.  We all had to push back and tell her that we could no longer spend all this extra money.

Reluctantly, she gave in and we had our first Christmas of receiving one gift.  I will admit that a small part of me was kind of sad that I would be receiving just one gift, but, when Christmas morning came, I found that I really didn’t care and  felt way more relaxed and as a result, had more fun.

Over the last couple of years I have noticed my family really focuses on making sure our one present we buy is something the other person really wants or needs.  This year, I am asking for some money towards going to my favourite hot springs , because I think having a wonderful and relaxing experience with my husband is more important than any material object.

This new philosophy is trickling down to other aspects of my life. No longer do I feel the need or pressure to buy people presents for birthdays and Christmas. The only thing that I want is for people to know how much they mean to me and how I appreciate having them in my life and who doesn’t want to hear that on a special occasion? And if I do feel that I want to give or make them something, I do it when it comes straight from my heart and not because I feel pressured to.

Now at Christmas, I rather have outings or experiences over presents.

So, this is how I survive the holidays fiancially. Do you do anything differently or have suggestions on how to save money during the Christmas season?

I first saw this cookie recipe on the show “In the Kitchen with Stefano Faita” on CBC. Johnny PVR’d it for me as if to say “hint hint, please make me these cookies.” I agreed they looked delish, but I didn’t like some aspects of the recipe. They started their life as Anise Wine Cookies. However neither I nor Johnny like anise, or any licorice-type flavour. So I used cardamom instead. The recipe online also said to use sunflower oil, however on the cooking show the chef used olive oil. Since I already had olive oil that is what I used, and I think I’ll stick with that in the future. I don’t know how sunflower oil would make them taste, but the oil is such a prominent ingredient that I don’t want to risk it.

The other modification I made was the cooking time. The recipe online says 30-40 minutes, but my cookies were well done at 20 minutes. Even 15 minutes would probably suffice.

When done, the cookies barely tasted of cardamom, which is good since I wasn’t sure how I’d actually like a strong cardamom taste. They don’t taste like wine either. In the future I’ll probably try doubling the cardamom to see what that’s like. These cookies are so versatile that you could probably substitute any flavour. Some to try are lemon, vanilla, or lavender.

Enjoy!

Italian Olive Oil Cookies

• 1 tsp. ground cardamom
• 1 cup white wine
• 3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 tsp. baking powder
• a pinch of salt
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 1/2 cup olive oil
• olive oil, for brushing cookies
• Sugar, for coating cookies – I used a coarse raw sugar for extra crunch, but any kind will do.

Instructions:

Mmmm, ball of dough, delish.

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line baking sheets with parchment paper.
2. Add cardamom to wine and let it steep for a few minutes.
3. Combine flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar in bowl. Stir together with wooden spoon.
4. Add the oil, and wine mixture. Stir with wooden spoon to bring the dough together into a ball; use your hands if necessary.
5. Turn the dough out onto a floured board and knead approximately 20 times. The dough will now be shiny and stretchy.
6. To shape the cookies into rings: Pull off a golf-ball sized ball of dough. Roll into 4-inches long strips. Join the edges together to form a ring. I had a hard time just rolling the dough, so I had to roll and stretch the dough. It wasn’t very uniform.
7. Brush cookies with oil and dip top in sugar.
8. Transfer to baking sheet lined with parchment.
9. Bake until lightly golden brown on the bottom, about 15-20 minutes.

 

Uncooked cookies ready to go.

Cooked and ready to munch!

 

After spilling the beans about having broken the F off my keyboard and how frustrated it sometimes makes me, I now feel ready to adopt and enjoy the letter again…

By celebrating my favorite F word - Fall!

Not that I don’t enjoy other seasons, but Fall is hands down my favorite.  Jumping into piles of fallen leaves or throwing them into the air and watching them fall all around me.  Climbing up mountains and looking down over the patchwork colours of the hills as the leaves are changing.

Laura reminded me about the clothes and styles that the season brings.  My favorites are the layers of clothes that cooler weather makes possible.  Sweaters and dresses, scarves, tights, leggings and BOOTS!  I have my fair share of boots and wait impatiently all year long to add them back into my wardrobe.

There are  fragrances like fresh home-made pie with apples from my aunts backyard or the crisp smell of the air which carries scents like fire place smoke, autumn leaves and wet pavement.

Holiday parties, family gatherings and thanksgiving dinners.  Spending time with people whose mere presence seems to surround you like a hug.

Catching up with friends by cracking fires or in coffee shops (perhaps whilst enjoying pumpkin spice lattes!)

What’s your favorite thing about Autumn or Fall?

16 Ways I Blew My Marriage by Danoah is filled with real life experiences with nothing held back. The author is candid about the mistakes he made during his marriages and what he would do differently. The stories aren’t about some crazy, unrealistic situations, but instead real things – like encouraging each other to skip a workout or pooping with the door open. Yup, it’s real life that is represented here people!

I couldn’t help but notice that J and I are guilty of some of the points. I would never have thought that some of these things could be affecting our relationship, but now we can definitely see how some of our fights and disagreements are directly (and indirectly) a result of these points. I think the fact that the post is written in such an open manor, where you feel the author is not holding back, makes it’s easy to relate to and also very easy to understand and apply to your own life. Dan (the author) doesn’t blame his spouse, or external factors, for the end of his marriages, but openly states what he feels he did wrong, and what he would do to change if he could do it again.

If you haven’t checked out the post yet (I’m flattered, thanks for waiting til you finished reading my post – but now seriously, check out the Danoah post!), Do it. Now. Oh and part 2 has also been published. Check it out!

Photo Credit: http://bit.ly/RAaO4F

Now that windows are being closed up tight to keep the warmth in the house, my home has started to take on that “stuffy” smell.  I prefer to clean my home with natural products (read more about that here) and I like to couple a good cleaning with some nice smells since fresh air is limited this time of year.

I’ve always been a big fan of candles for “freshening” my home in the fall and winter, but also use other methods to de-stink the house.  Below are some ideas that you can do yourself to naturally freshen your own space.

1.  Baking Soda.  Sprinkle this on pretty much any surface (avoiding fabrics like wool or silk) and let sit for 20 mins then vaccuum up!  Baking soda is one of the best natural deodorizing products available.

2. Lavender. I have two lavender plants growing in my garden, and at the end of each summer I cut them down and collect all the lavender buds.  I have a collection of vases I like to use to display the lavender and when I notice the house needs a quick lift in scented spirits, I mix the lavender around in the vase, rejuvenating the scent.

3. Fresh Soaps. This idea is borrowed from my friend and fellow blogger Alana; buy a small decorative basket that will fit on the top of your toilet tank and fill it with those wonderful smelling soaps.  Homemade soaps are my favourite and can be easily and relatively cheaply sourced at farmers markets in the summer or found at Christmas Craft Fairs.

4. Essential Oils.  Grab your favourite essential oil and put a small amount of water on a low boil on the stove. Add a few drops of the oil (one of my favs is peppermint oil) and within minutes your home will be revived.

5.  Cinnamon Sticks. Similar to number 4, take a small sauce pan and fill it half way with water. Put in some ground cinnamon or cinnamon sticks and set to high until it has come to a rolling boil. Remove from heat and set on a pot holder or cool burner. The steam will help disperse the smell throughout the house. You can use a few different things to create a pleasant smell such as apple slices and other spices. Make sure that you remove from heat and then rinse out your pan immediately after it has stopped steaming to make sure there is no damage to your pan. This is my favourite way to make my house fragrant for the holidays.

What ways do you like to make your house smell nice?

First, here are some of the styles that pear shapes can wear for fall. Being pear shaped, I was amazed that some of these fashions can be flattering.

The first was the long sweater:

• if there are pockets, make sure they are located at the back (otherwise they can accentuate the hips)
• the more the sweater drapes and the more texture it has the more flattering it can be
• different colours and horizontal lines can work in your favour

Flattering Long Sweater

Unflattering Long Sweater

If you have a shapeless shirt dress, you can give it shape and make it more flattering with a belt.

High heels make everything look better. This can be a wooden heel, thicker heel or if you are scared of high heels, you can go for a chunky heel boot.

Leopard Print Jeans

K’s must haves for the fall:

• Black fake leather jacket
• Jeans or skinny jeans with zippers on the sides
• Leopard print jeans

 Day to Night Outfits

The first example is how you can dress down a fancy dress for work and then glam it up for night time. For the day time, wear it with tights, a neutral toned sweater/blazer and oyster coloured bag. For night, take off the tights, add a  fake leather jacket and switch the oyster coloured purse for a dark metallic one.

Fancy Dress for Night

Fancy Dress for Day

The next combo is an outfit that you can easily wear to work or out shopping and then change a few things and you are ready to rock out in the evening. If you are average to tall in height, wear black tights or dark skinny jeans and if you are shorter, wear a thick black nylon.

For day, don’t be afraid to mix up patterns.

Day Outfit

For night, change the shoe or boot for something edgier, change the jewelry, jacket and use a black purse with gold hardware.

Night Outfit

So, those are the fashion tips I learned from my friend K. Do you have any advice for this fall fashion season or even the upcoming winter season?

Haha just kidding, but I am a very busy person. Sometimes I think I’m drowning in a sea of task lists and follow-ups. There’s just so much to do, and not enough hours in the day. And everything is urgent and important and, obviously, much more important than whatever anyone else is doing. I’m the busiest and most important person ever. Period.

However, I’ve come to realize that other people are just as busy as I am. Perhaps (gasp!) even busier. Parents, for example. They manage to get things done and nurture new life. I’m nurturing a collection of mould on my fridge leftovers. Parents shuttle children from hockey practice to ballet to math tutor. I shuttle myself from bed to couch to bed again. Sometimes my dog tags along.

So why do I feel so overwhelmed all the time? I think it’s lack of focus. I have a million things that could get done, but no clear starting point or prioritization. That is, until a task is completely urgent, then it’s a priority. But at that point it’s been sitting there on my to-do list stressing me out for two weeks. I’ve tried systems, like Getting Things Done and the 7 Habits systems, but nothing has ever stuck. I think that my issue is more fundamental than what another system can resolve. My problem is that I’m always looking past what’s happening now, what I have to do now, and thinking about all the other stuff I will have to do later, tomorrow, next week. And that stresses me out so much that I’m paralyzed in the here and now, and don’t get anything done. And the fact I don’t get anything done stresses me out even more! Gah!

Haggis knows how to relax.

While writing this, and while pondering the issue over the past week or so, I have come to the conclusion that I have to stop scheduling everything and making task list upon task list. When I get home from work today, I’m going to sit down and cuddle my dog. Mind you, that’s what I do every day after work, but this time I’m not going to feel guilty about the very important things I’m supposed to be doing instead. Today, my very important thing will be to sit down and cuddle my dog. If at some point I get up and feel like doing something else, that’s cool, but it’s not required. And it’s not even something I’m going to plan for. There will be no backup plan to cuddling the dog. Otherwise I’ll be thinking about that instead of enjoying my down time.

While this plan of doing nothing may not seem like it will help me get more things done, I think it will. I’ll be less stressed out in general, so when the urge strikes me to do something, I’ll be able to do it without thinking about the ten other things I need to do after that one thing. And if it doesn’t help me get more done, well I won’t be any worse off, and at least I’ll be more relaxed.

But what if you could avoid that – and find that happy balance?

Last year, the Royal Bank of Canada did a survey and found that Canadians were planning on spending an average of $640 on gifts. In addition, an average of $612 was expected to be spent on other items, such as style & beauty, travel, decorating and food & beverages. That adds up to almost $1,300 spent in a month, on top of regular monthly expenses!

The last few years I have opted to give hand/homemade gifts. There are so many ways to personalize gifts, for those of you with knitting or crochet skills, a beautiful handmade scarf, baby blanket or slippers might be an option. Gifts which take effort but are cost effective allow you to personalize and add sentiment, without breaking your pocket book. .

My skills lay not in the textiles area, but with food! Last year my main gift items were crema di limoncello (a super-delish Italian lemon liqueur…and you might see a post on this in the coming months ) and lemon and cranberry curd (if you’ve never had lemon curd, you’re missing out!). Both were things that I enjoy and are labours of love that I wanted to pass on to my friends and family. While giving homemade and handmade gifts may take more effort, they help to balance your expenses. Depending on what you end up making and how many people are on your list, you’re looking at an average of $200-300 dollars, which is a bit easier to swallow than $640.

If you were to make gifts this year, what do you think you would make? Check out below for some suggestions of great homemade and handmade gifts for the holiday season!

Check out this adorable crocheted mug cozy! Simply Notable posted the plans for making your own mug cozy here.

Here is another super cute crocheted mug cozy from Twisted Fibers Designs.

If candles are more your thing, check out Ruffled for a great DIY tutorial to making soy-wax candles.

This post from Offbeat & Inspired has been making me want to take up soap making. Chocolate and hazelnut are my two favourite things!! Yum

Know a gin fan? Try this recipe from Boozed + Infused for infusing gin with mandarin oranges (easy to find in this season!) and gift some home-infused mandarin gin!

Below is a recipe for plum muffins that I found online; they are sweet but work great for breakfast or as a snack.  A hit in our house, for sure!

Ingredients

2 1/4 cups flour
1/2 cup sugar
3 teaspoons baking powder
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup milk
1 egg
1/4 cup butter, melted
1/2 teaspoon almond extract
1 cup red plums, coarsely chopped

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 425°F.
2. Generously grease 12 muffin cups or line with papers.
3. Combine flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt in a large mixing bowl.
4. Whisk to blend thoroughly.
5. In a separate bowl. whisk milk, egg, melted butter, and almond.
6. Make a well in the center of dry ingredients and pour in the egg mixture.
7. Blend with a wooden spoon until a moist, lumpy batter is formed.
8. Stir in plums.
9. Spoon into prepared cups and bake for 20 to 25 minutes, or until a wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean.
10. Cool on a rack for 5 minutes, then remove to a rack to cool completely.

Notes

I am not a big fan of almond-flavour so next time I will substitute this for vanilla extract.  It also paired well with maple butter.  Click here to view the original recipe.

Do you have any great plum recipes?  Please share!

I’m still here.

Have I found the man of my dreams?  No.

Am I still dating online?  Yes, technically (I paid for a year.)

So what the heck then?  I’m lovely, why am I not married with babies already?

It’s so easy to lose perspective on things, when you’re a single girl with a group of happily married friends, a vast majority of which are either pregnant, trying or have babies already.  For them, the insecurity, frustration and optimism that can so typically categorize ‘dating’ is long forgotten, eclipsed by the new and exciting chapter they’re currently navigating.  I have been known to affectionately call them ‘smug married people’ a quote from Bridget Jones – but I really do love my friends.  At the end of the day, they want for me, what I want for myself – to be happy.  These things just take time and I keep telling myself it will be worth the effort in the long run.

Since we last spoke (you and I) I have continued to date.  I’ve hung out with people from the online site, had dinner with men I’ve met through mutual friends or family.  I’ve also done the semi-destructive habit (but hopefully semi-normal) of mentally going back over previous relationships to wonder whether I was too picky before and it’s worth another try…  Yes I know that things often don’t work out for a variety of reasons, and those reasons are unlikely to change.  But time can also make us romanticize the past and glaze over what at the time, seemed like glaringly obvious deal breakers.

My energy started to drag by mid-summer and I lost the optimistic dedication that I first began this online-dating chapter with.  Summer already seems to go much too quickly, also my brother got married and a whole schwack of friends and family descended on us.   Add to that working full time in a busy office and let’s just say that life got in the way of me having a dating life.  I made a rational decision to focus on being a good sister and friend and to return to dating when I was in a better head space to dedicate myself to it.

Now that it’s November, I’m realising that I stayed in that ‘I’m too busy to date’ head space and have wasted time that perhaps I shouldn’t have.  But I’m ready to get back to it – stay tuned!

Let me paint the scenario for you: it was about seven years ago and my now husband and I were students at university, and in an effort to save money, we moved into a very cheap suite in Victoria. The suite was in a heritage house whose owners put no effort into maintaining, so, you can imagine how rundown it was.

Our dog was acting funny one night and was sniffing outside our pantry door. I didn’t know why she was doing it, so I opened the door for her and she put her nose in the bottom shelve and out jumped a rat onto my leg. Yes, ONTO MY LEG! The rat then ran back into the closet, which connected to the pantry. Well, you can imagine my complete and total disgust. I kept saying, ‘it was just a big mouse’, to which my husband would reply, ‘no, that is a rat’. We quickly came up with a plan, and with our dog’s help, we ushered it outside.  Knowing that he was only going to find his way back in soon, we had to figure out a plan and fast!

Below I have outlined the steps how to get mice and rats out of your house. Oh, did I mention that around the same time we noticed that mice had been living in our house? I have included how we got rid of them as well:

1) First thing I did was go through all the stuff the rat had access to, throw things out and clean. This included everything in our closet, pantry and cupboards.  I discover that the rat (or mice) had been chewing on some of our food items and on our dog’s food bag. It was disturbing how much food we had to throw away, but, we couldn’t keep it!

2) Next, I had to think about how I wanted to store our food, which included the dog’s food. I happened to have an extra-large Rubbermaid container (with a lid) which we started to store the dog food in it and I also made sure there was never any extra food left in her bowl. Next, I went to the dollar store and bought a lot of glass jars and stored all our food in sealed container. It felt so much better knowing that our food was safely secured.

3) Next, I had to figure out where the rat came in from. After taking all of our items out of our kitchen closet, I noticed a hole that the rat had CHEWED through in order to get to our suite. So, once I knew the rat was outside of our suite, I covered up the hole with steel wool.  (I remember a week later our upstairs neighbours complained that they had a rat, and, secret shame, I was happy to hear that he had moved on from our place).

4) Once our rat was gone, I noticed that we still had some mice running around our place during the night. So, having no idea how to get rid of them and feeling desperate, we set up some traps in the house. But, I couldn’t do it anymore; I felt so bad killing the mice!

5) After doing some research, I found out that some people had used peppermint oil to get rid of mice. I thought, that is such a more humane approach to fixing this problem. I searched high and low and I finally found a little opening in the bathroom floor that I thought the mice were entering our place through. I put some peppermint oil on a cotton ball, placed it into the hole and the mice were gone. I was absolutely floored how easy it was! Oh, excuse the pun…bathroom floor… I was floored?? Just trying to lighted the mood

A couple of weeks later, I was looking out our kitchen window which faced our neighbour’s house (also owned and rented by our landlords) and I noticed a squirrel had made a nest in their roof. I watched the squirrel climb on a tree and enter above our window and steal insulation from our roof and then climb back to take it to their nest.  I clearly remember that moment and telling my husband, ‘Honey, that’s it, we’re moving!’.

Outside in nature is where you belong…not in my house!

Today’s post is by Krysta, a member of the A Life Less Awkward community!

When I was 17 I decided I didn’t want to ‘waste’ money on post-secondary education because I wasn’t sure of ‘what I wanted to be when I grew up.’  I had no idea what I wanted to do, just a vague idea that I wanted to be in business.  I started working full-time, and by the time I realized what I wanted to do with my life (Human Resources (HR)) I didn’t want to take time away from work to go to school full-time, so instead, I began taking courses part-time in the evenings.

Long story short, life changed and I ended up not finishing any sort of certificate, diploma, or degree.  I kept working; at this point, I had been with the same company for 5 years and had lots of developmental opportunities; opportunities ranging from corporate learning, to temporary jobs, and a lot of projects.  I knew my big break would come and until then I’d be gaining the knowledge required and eventually the right door would lead to the HR place my heart lay.

A few years later, still under 25, I decided to re-assess my goals.  I had succeeded thus far without post-secondary education, so I figured I could make it to where I wanted to be without it.

Add multiple years of different but relevant experiences on to my resume and you’ll find me today: very happy in a management position that allows me to work on a variety of projects; many of them involving HR.  Other daily functions help me to develop skills I never would have thought I would be interested in, like managing a $6 million budget.

Recently I applied on my dream job and was told I don’t have the education they require. Wouldn’t you know it; the last person they hired had an MBA.  It left me stunned…here I am with more than 10 years of hands-on experience in the field, and I’m being passed over for a graduate with none.  A piece of paper, some theoretical training, but no practical knowledge actual business.  Somehow, those 3 little letters are standing between me and the opportunity to demonstrate my experience, knowledge and capability. 

As I now re-evaluate my career goals I wonder what the weight of Education vs. Experience is. Unfortunately, like art or beauty, it seems to be subjective… in the eye of the beholder, or in this case, the recruiter.